funny quote seen over the weekend: "a husband is someone who stands by your side through all the troubles you would not have had if you were single."  heh.

counting down the years before I can leave this city and move far away...

sixty miles per gallon!  plus it is very very fun.  I am very happy and thankful. 

Life during the 'two days'...  this walk through the valley is filled with plants.  Some beautiful and fragrant but dying, others new, shiny, metallic, and with a deep rumbling song.

The ten books currently in my main reading pile besides the Bible are: "Love and Respect", "For Men Only", "Becoming Conversant with the Emergent Church", "Don't Waste Your Life", "The Young Man in the Mirror", "The Reason for God", "Philosophy and the Christian Faith", "The Reliability of the Gospels", "George Mueller", and the Book of Mormon.  Just because they're in my pile doesn't mean I read them frequently (ha! far from it actually), but some of the ideas on this blog are obviously stimulated by the things I read when I get a chance.  The Bible is by far the most important book though... I recommend it more than all the others... the Bible is food, the others are condiments, or even silverware.

I have realized just tonight why I value my journal and my blog so much, and why I desire my closest friends to read them and to get to know my friends from previous places - it is because of two facts: I have changed a lot during the years of my life, and I have lived in several very different environments in my life - a version of 'rootlessness'.  My journals and blogs (and photos and letters and other forms of history) form a sort of thread that ties together 'the real me' and help me (and potentially others) understand who I am in view of the entire collection of experiences and friends... I tend to believe (rightly or wrongly) that unless I or someone else grasp 'who I was', it is essentially impossible to understand 'who I am' right now, and 'who I am becoming'... and likewise I think the more one gets to know my true friends, the more one can understand me.  If someone would view my journals and blogs and friends as 'secondary/accessories' and decides they're not worth the time to digest or get to know, I would feel that the person is not truly interested in getting to know me. That ought not change how I view/treat them, of course, in general...

Tonight reading "Love and Respect" - powerful and highly recommended... it's based on Ephesians 5:33, with thesis that husbands need respect and wives need love.  I think I strongly agree, based on what I've seen.  I don't know if I'll ever get to apply it.   But what about singles?  Does it not seem that single Christian men cannot / ought-not to direct the natural flow of their love / romantic feelings toward their single Christian sisters? (unless God is leading them to pursue marriage, of course) ...because that would easily tend to stir up feelings in the girls that would be difficult to repress... feelings that would risk 'leading them on' even accidentally, without meaning to.  As the african proverb says, "If you are not interested in giving money to the beggar widow, do not ask her too many questions."  What then to do with these?  How ought single men to 'practice' loving their wives, as it were?  Certainly not to direct this toward married women, that would be very foolish.  It seems to me that these feelings and impulses must simply be buried, dumped, wasted.  Not to say that God overlooks it, of course... all of our tears are saved in His bottle, and likewise with all of our romantic love.  It's like a garden hose which has no 'off' valve, but has no garden to water.  All it can do is pour onto the asphalt and down into the drain.  But that's better than prematurely soaking the paper packets of seeds which are meant for other gardens.  The energy of single people can of course be turned toward positive 'projects', as it is well known that churches benefit from the extra time and resources and energy of single men and women... and missionary endeavors to far lands, etc.  To a limited degree the longing of single Christian men to lead and provide and the longing of single Christian women to care for and nurture others can be 'redirected' into small groups, others' families, etc. Yet somehow it doesn't seem that simple.  If Christian single men need respect/significance and Christian single women need love/security, who can they legitimately get it from?  From God, I suppose.  Whom do they practice on?  Ultimately no one, I suppose.  Yet 'friendships' are obviously important.

There's the example of Jesus... single all his thirty-odd years on earth, yet somehow building a DEEP friendship with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, and others... especially Mary (John 11, etc)... while staying perfectly pure and sinless.  How could he intentionally build/allow such a deep friendship, while somehow making it clear to her that he had no romantic intentions toward her?  I wish I could watch His life in person.  E.g. Paul with the many women friends he mentions, Dorcas (great name for an American girl), etc.  May God give us all wisdom.  As the Quran says, "May God lead us to the straight path."

One more thing - I heard this awesome analogy from Piper's lecture on John Newton the other day - Newton used it in one of his sermons.

Imagine if there was a man who had just been told (and verified with official documents) that he had inherited a HUGE fortune [think billions or trillions].  All of his financial needs and wants would basically be solved for the rest of his life.  All he had to do was travel to a particular distant city to receive his inheritance.  He traveled and traveled, and finally, just when he was getting within five miles of the city, a wheel on his carriage broke [or his car broke an axle or something].

Imagine how utterly ridiculous it would be if we saw that man cursing and muttering darkly to himself as he walked the rest of the way, upset at the fact that he had to walk to the city and get all hot and sweaty and tired.  Or how utterly moronic we would think he was if he decided not to complete his trip because of the inconvenience!

Thus it is [says Newton] with our own situation (for those who are believers/disciples of Christ) - on our way to HEAVEN to live with GOD, FOREVER, joint heirs with Christ, bride of Christ, children of God, etc - when we encounter difficulties and sorrows and trials here...

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us... Romans 8:18

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials... 1 Peter 1:6

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison... 2 Corinthians 4:17

Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.
It was the Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.
So the sisters sent word to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick."
But when Jesus heard this, He said, "This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it."
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was.
Then after this He said to the disciples, "Let us go to Judea again."
...
So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days.
Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off;
and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary, to console them concerning their brother.
Martha therefore, when she heard that Jesus was coming, went to meet Him, but Mary stayed at the house.
Martha then said to Jesus, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.
"Even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You."
Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
Martha said to Him, "I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day."
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?"
She said to Him, "Yes, Lord; I have believed that You are the Christ, the Son of God, even He who comes into the world."
When she had said this, she went away and called Mary her sister, saying secretly, "The Teacher is here and is calling for you."
And when she heard it, she got up quickly and was coming to Him.
Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha met Him.
Then the Jews who were with her in the house, and consoling her, when they saw that Mary got up quickly and went out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there.
Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died."
When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "Lord, come and see."
Jesus wept.
So the Jews were saying, "See how He loved him!"
But some of them said, "Could not this man, who opened the eyes of the blind man, have kept this man also from dying?"
So Jesus, again being deeply moved within, came to the tomb. Now it was a cave, and a stone was lying against it.
Jesus said, "Remove the stone." Martha, the sister of the deceased, said to Him, "Lord, by this time there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days."
Jesus said to her, "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?"
So they removed the stone Then Jesus raised His eyes, and said, "Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. "I knew that You always hear Me; but because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me."
When He had said these things, He cried out with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth."
The man who had died came forth, bound hand and foot with wrappings, and his face was wrapped around with a cloth. Jesus said to them, "Unbind him, and let him go."   (John 11)

Thank you, praying friends, for your prayers!   God turned the potentially difficult lunch meeting into a good and honest conversation... everything I was hoping for.  We left as deeper friends than when we came, and we came to an agreement or an 'understanding' between us on the difficult issue, etc.  Thank you God.  Please work the ensuing events out for Your glory!

Dear praying friends,

I have an important lunch meeting with a friend tomorrow (Thursday)... Please pray that God gives him and me wisdom as we make decisions that will affect our lives and several other people's lives also.

Thank you!

... a day to gratefully remember those who have given their lives in service to our country and who are currently serving.  I am thankful.  Yet I can't help thinking that our country needs hardship more than it needs peace, to straighten out many of its problems (i.e. by pointing it back to God).  May God's will be done (in the coming election and beyond).

... a day also to remember one's own life.  God has been so good to me.  Loving and God-focused family, physical provision, many friends and especially a few very close friends, but most of all, The Gift of Jesus Christ coming to earth and dying for me / to pay for my sins, so that I could live with Him and the rest of the redeemed people in heaven forever.   Wow.

... one year ago today, life was extremely exciting, and also confusing and stressful.  Today, life is still confusing and stressful, but it is rather more 'bleak' than 'exciting'...  except for heaven, which is hopefully coming soon.  God lovingly removes the (relatively) cheap treasures of our lives so we can better see the value of the genuine treasure He has already given to us (those of us who are believers in Christ)....

"...God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"Affections of the heart cannot simply be removed, they must be replaced."

-- a quote I heard today, which I think is quite true.   Lord Jesus, please focus my heart's affections on You.