...excerpted from a recent letter to a friend... with the hope that some of these thoughts might be helpful to other people besides my friend and I.

 

Dear ________,

Great to hear from you!  Thanks for your email.  That sounds good about [..........]

Thanks for asking about the new things God's been teaching me... it's hard to condense it down to a short summary... but I'll try below.   I'll also be interested to hear what new things God is teaching you, at some point in the future if we get a chance to meet and chat or email.   (No hurry, I know you're busy.)

First, God has continued pointing me to trust in His promises [........]   E.g. Lam. 3:24 "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "therefore I have hope in Him".  I know my life problems are small compared to many other people's.  But I still face very dark days and nights some times.  And God's promises keep lifting me up.

Second, I have recently noticed a lot of scriptures saying effectively "do not be afraid".  A surprisingly large number, actually.  I listed some of them here on my blog: http://tim223.xanga.com/713821711/item/   I continue to need boldness/trust in my daily interactions with my nonChristian coworkers and acquaintances here at [.....].   And boldness/trust in many other areas of life.

Third, related to the "state of the churches" in [city]  (I have now visited about 40 churches here, ten before [previouschurch] in 2007 when I first moved here and thirty this year as I've been looking for a new church, though still remaining friends with everyone at [previouschurch])... both the 'good' and the 'sad'...  the good is that God has "a lot of people in this city", all over the place, faithfully serving Him and producing fruit.  The sad is that there are so many unbiblical things seen... churches that are liberal, or pentacostal, or health-and-wealth-gospel-preaching, or led by women, or legalistic, etc.  There is such a need for more Christ-centered, Bible-centered, church groups, led by leaders who are "humble and contrite in spirit, who tremble at God's word" (Isaiah 66:2).  There definitely exist some here.  But there is such a need for more.

Fourth, I've continued to be encouraged by listening to some powerful sermons by John Piper, Tim Keller, Paul Washer, Steve Estes, and some others.  In particular some audio lectures that you might really enjoy are the biography lectures that John Piper gives each year about some historical figure.  Extremely encouraging.  Top recommended ones: Adoniram Judson, John Newton, John Bunyan, Charles Spurgeon, and George Mueller.   ( http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Biographies/ )   Tim Keller's sermons on the prodigal sons (6 sermons) and on 'the reason for God' (sermons about the 6 main objections to Christianity raised by people today) are also excellent.  Piper's sermons on Romans are interesting.  I'm currently listening to Paul Washer 5-part series on 2 Cor. 13:5/'assurance of salvation', which is interesting.   But if you only have time for a little audio, I'd most recommend those five Piper biographies.  And this sermon by David Sitton about Philippians 1 -- http://www.toeverytribe.com/file_download_launch.asp?filePath=/uploads/03_Dead_is_Better.mp3   and the next one by John Piper on the same site.

Fifth, I'm currently reading a book called "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges.  It is much better than I was expecting.  I highly recommend it and I can loan it to you when I'm done if you think you might have the time and interest.  It starts with several chapters about the gospel, the importance of the gospel, and the need for the gospel in getting rid of our sinful habits.  Then he discusses some sins which we tend to overlook in our lives.

Sixth, I recently read a challenging book called "House Church" by Steven Atkerson.  It raises some very intriguing questions about the way we 'do church', and whether our current traditions and practices are really the best way to do church (or whether returning to the NT pattern of house churches would be a better pattern, even for today in the USA).   (I bought some extra copies to give away, so if you're interested, you can definitely borrow one... but again, I know how busy you are)

Seventh, I've been noticing some specific things about the teachings at [previouschurch] which I had not specifically noticed while I was attending there.   Two tendencies in particular: (1) "easy-believism", and (2) works-oriented Christian life.  I don't think [previouschurch] is "teaching a false gospel", only that every church tends to emphasize certain things, and I now recognize that two of [previouschurch's] emphases are these two things.  Expanding a bit more:
(1) easy believism / 'just say the prayer' salvation / non-lordship-salvation / when salvation-doubts arise, ask whether the person ever professed faith in Christ however many years ago, as opposed to focusing on how the person has been living recently / 'carnal Christian' teaching (for the opposite, cf. Paul Washer)
and
(2) works-oriented christian life / Galatians 3 get saved by faith, but then proceed by human effort/QT/pray/etc  / emphasis on practical 'do, do, do' (see Spurgeon quote below) / 'higher-life' teaching / victorious-living-formula (elder-brother-ism, cf. Tim Keller)

...and I was pondering these two separate emphases, and I gradually realized that there was a subtle connection between these two things.  Despite sounding seemingly opposite upon first glance (#1 'gospel too easy' and #2 'gospel too hard'), I'm realizing that the common tie is an underlying overly high view of man and human freedom.  When one's view of God's sovereignty begins to be expanded, one realizes that regarding #1, sure I believed in Christ 20 years ago, but actually it was God who was behind the scenes regenerating my heart and drawing me to Himself, and in everyone whom God starts the work, He finishes the work, so there are no 'continuously carnal Christians'... if they are 'continuously carnal', they simply are not saved at all.  And similarly regarding #2, there's definitely a place for 'tactical spiritual disciplines' (QT, prayer, memorization, accountability, etc) in the fight against sin and Satan, but as we begin to see the greatness and sovereignty of God more and more, we realize that apart from His power and grace and work in our lives, we are completely helpless to live righteously, even the tiniest little bit.  Our only hope for holiness is to keep focusing on Christ's righteousness (our justification), and only by being constantly reminded of the Gospel / Christ's love and death-for-us, are we enabled to little-by-little put to death the sin in our lives.

I've been realizing that in order for me to promote the more exactly balanced/biblical gospel, I need to understand the antidotes/counterbalances to the above themes: to #1, I need to understand/teach "Lordship-salvation" / 'counting the cost' of discipleship before following Christ / the parable of the soils, and why only one type of soil bore fruit / 1st John about how we know who belongs to Christ and who doesn't / James 2 about what is 'true/living faith'-- the type of faith that produces works/changed-life.    To counterbalance #2, I need to understand/teach GRACE... God's free, unmerited, awesome grace, not only to the unsaved, but to the saved... to Christians.. to you and me, every day!   Romans 3.... 4,.... 5, 6, 7,.... 8.... Galatians 3... the parable of the Pharisee vs Tax-collector...  the parable of the slaves who owed debts to their masters...   2 Tim. 2:19... etc...   implications: such radical/complete love from Christ, when understood/believed, PRODUCES surrender/allegiance in my heart.... rather than trying to impose it from the outside/external or work it up inside me.

Anyway, this is probably a longer reply than you were asking for, and probably not as clear as it should be.   But since you asked, these are some of the things going on theologically these days for me.   I'd love to chat more some time, as time allows.   Until then, I hope you have a good Christmas and ever deepening intimacy with God.

In Christ!!!!, Tim

"'The Lord is my portion', says my soul, 'therefore I have hope in Him.'"  Lamentations 3:24

"How many there are kept in bondage through neglect of gospel invitations. They are longing to be saved. They go up to the house of God, crying to be saved; and there is nothing but predestination for them.
On the other hand, what multitudes are kept in darkness through practical preaching. It is do! do! do! and nothing but do! and the poor souls come away and say: "Of what use is that to me? I can do nothing. Oh, that I had a way shown to me available for salvation."
Of the apostle Paul we think it may be truly said, that no sinner missed a comfort from his keeping back Christ's cross; that no saint was bewildered in spirit from his denying the bread of heaven and withholding precious truth; that no practical Christian became so practical as to become legal, and no doctrinal Christian became so doctrinal as to become unpractical."
- Charles Spurgeon, http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0289.htm

 

For you have heard of my former manner of life in Judaism, how I used to persecute the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it; and I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my contemporaries among my countrymen, being more extremely zealous for my ancestral traditions. But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother's womb and called me through His grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus.  (Galatians 1:13-17)

 

Twenty years ago I was a young boy, lying in bed around 10pm, listening to a radio program called Open Forum as I often did at that time.  Each night the host of the program would answer questions about the Bible from people who called in.  At the end of many conversations, the host would often exhort the callers to make sure that they had received God's gift of salvation from their sins.

I had grown up in a big Baptist church.  I had been a missionary kid in Africa.  My parents had read the Bible to me every night for years.  I knew all the sunday school answers and could ace every Bible quiz.  I was proud of my Bible knowledge.  

I knew that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God".  I knew that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life" because of the sacrifice Jesus had made for sins.  I knew that it was important for every person in the world to ask Jesus to save them and "come in to their heart", taking up His residence as King.  I knew that if a person disbelieved or rejected Jesus, that person would end up in Hell forever.

I had raised my hand twice before in Vacation Bible Schools, when they told us a prayer to repeat and said "raise your hand if you want to accept Jesus as your Savior".  Afterward they talked to me and told me that if I really meant the prayer, then I was saved.  But I wasn't sure, or didn't fully understand.

But this night, suddenly, the choice was right in front of me and the way forward was clear and exciting.   Asking Jesus to save them was something that everyone needed to do;  I had never done it;  why not do it at that moment?

So I did.  Afterward I immediately got out of bed and wrote down on a piece of paper "I became a Christian at 10:00pm November 29th 1989."  I was happy!   I didn't need to be afraid of death or Hell any more, because I was now a Christian and I was on my way to heaven!  For the first time, it wasn't just "Jesus died for sinners", but "Jesus died for ME."

I now know more.  I know that I understood almost nothing about salvation twenty years ago.  I had no way of knowing how to "count the cost" of following Jesus.  I didn't realize that it was God who was drawing me to Himself.  I had no idea of all the skeptical questions about Christianity which would wrestle in my mind over the next decades.  I had no idea of the depths of sin and evil in my heart. 

But fortunately, God is the one who saved me (and all of us who believe in Him).  I didn't save myself.  He had "set me apart" from eternity before the world was even created, and then at just the right time He "called" me and "opened my heart to believe" in Him.  Since that time He has been preserving, growing, protecting, teaching, disciplining, and wooing me.

I am still happy...  so extremely happy about Jesus Christ!   Thank you Lord Jesus for everything You have done for me, everything You are doing for me, and everything You are currently preparing for our awesome eternal future together with all of your redeemed ones.

 

    How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered!
How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit!
When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away
Through my groaning all day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah. 

    I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I did not hide;
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD";
And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah. 

    Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found;
Surely in a flood of great waters they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble;
You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah. 

    I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go;
I will counsel you with My eye upon you.
Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding,
Whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check,
Otherwise they will not come near to you.
Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
But he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him.
Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones;
And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart.

 

Check out this passage once again:  how awesome it is:

^{1 Corinthians 7:29-31}
"But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away."

It is easier to "weep as though you were not weeping" when you are simultaneously struggling to "rejoice as if you were not rejoicing", I've found...    how about you?   It's easier when you have emotions pulling at you from both sides, not just the "sad" side or the "happy" side...    But of course God's call here remains the same whether it is easy or hard...

...because we have such a GREAT JOY set before us...

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

...and because we are "just passing through" this world temporarily...

"For here we do not have a lasting city, but we are seeking the city which is to come." Hebrews 13:14

A year ago I was sitting around a campfire with some friends, and the question was posed to us: "What do you most enjoy doing in your free time?"

Unfortunately, this immediately put me in a bind.   At that moment, and still today, the thing I most enjoy doing in my free time is "spending time with the woman I love."   It doesn't matter what we're doing... We could be hiking, or traveling, or talking, or eating, or reading, or shopping, or sitting in prison together for all I care.  Unfortunately, at that time the woman I loved was sitting around the campfire with me, and had previously made it clear to me that she did not feel the same way about me.  Thus for me to share that information would make her and everyone else uncomfortable.  But what were my other options?  Either lie, or withold that information somehow.  I didn't want to lie.  But witholding the information makes people suspicious of you... they think "what's he hiding?"   But the path of agape love is to take upon yourself the difficulties; sacrifice your own desires, for the sake of others.

So when it was my turn, I said "Unfortunately I am not able to share the thing I most enjoy doing, at this time, but some other things I enjoy doing might include reading good books and having meals together with friends."

"Life is short.   Love her well."

If one believed that one's life with one's wife was only going to be a couple decades, say 50 years, and then that was it... no more marriage to her or anyone else, ever again, for all of eternity....    only one "short" chance to display the example/model/emulation/showcase of Christ's love for His Church, to a cynical world....

If one further believed that one's life with one's wife was going to be VERY VERY short because in view of the path their lives were taking, they would soon be placed in situations where she was going to be taken away from him...  either in sickness/death, or by prison walls, or by kidnapping and being sold as a slave/concubine, never to be heard from again....  and that the same bereavement would soon happen to one's children...   Granted that one had the courage to actually marry if those beliefs were held....

What would that husband's love look like?

Here is my current general mindset about girls, described briefly below with some theological thoughts/tactics at the end.   (I'm not sure how typical my mindset is among Christian American single men my age... I suspect it's somewhat atypical, but I'd be interested to hear more from you readers, especially those who are in the same situation I'm in.  Of course, the important thing is what God thinks about our attitudes, not what other humans think).   My mindset has been shaped by many people and circumstances, including Jonathan Lindvall's, John Piper's, and Joshua Harris' teachings, much advice from many counselors, past personal relationships, and observation of many other couples.

All girls fall into one of three categories.  A girl is either (1) someone you're not attracted to, or (2) someone you're attracted to but for some reason believe it is not God's will for you to pursue in marriage, or (3) someone you're attracted to and believe it is God's will for you to pursue in marriage.  Furthermore, each category can be further subdivided into whether you sense that she is attracted to you or not-- (a) she is not attracted to you, (b) she is attracted to you.   Attraction can of course be subdivided too - sometimes it's only physical, sometimes it's only personality, sometimes it's only character/maturity/godliness, and usually it's a mixture of these.  (For now I'll ignore this distinction, in the text below.)

So then:

(1a) If you're not attracted to her and she's not attracted to you: You can "relax" completely around these girls, and share more freely about things you're going through, your thoughts/desires/hopes, etc.  An amusing but surprisingly populous subset of this category is of those girls who somehow think that you're attracted to them when you're actually not.  Typically they evince noticable coolness toward you in an attempt to 'turn you off'.  From my perspective, it's just plain annoying.  But there's nothing one can do about it, except keep being 'normally friendly', etc.  It's harder than you might think to "try to be normal".     And of course people tell you to "stop trying so hard", but of course that simply means "try to stop trying so hard", and it's easier said than done...

(1b) If you're not attracted to her but she's attracted to you:   You need to be VERY CAREFUL in your interactions with her, to avoid being "overly friendly" / to avoid sending signals which she'd interpret as interest in her and thus contribute to causing her to stumble / breaking her heart.  It's a tight balancing act, fraught with constant failure, to be friendly but not too friendly, all for the sake of showing long-term agape-love toward her / looking out for her best interests.

(2a) If you're attracted to her but she's not attracted to you and God has made it clear to you that you are not to pursue her in marriage:  You need to be VERY CAREFUL in how much time you spend with her, in what situations, etc.  You need to try to keep an IRON GRIP on your own heart.  Usually this comes out in "avoidance", slight "gruffness", and overall general uncomfortableness/awkwardness when you're around her.

(2b) If you're attracted to her AND she's attracted to you but somehow and for some reason God has made it clear to you that you are not to pursue her in marriage: you need to be EXTREMELY EXTREMELY CAREFUL in your interactions, to not send signals of interest (despite the internal attraction), and keep an IRON GRIP on your own heart, to put an immediate end to any germinating thoughts of a future relationship.  This manifests in reduced time spent with her, strained conversation, etc.  Again, the reason you're intentionally putting distance into the relationship is for her long-term best interests...  you're commissioned with the protection of her heart for her future husband or for a future life of productive singleness.

(3) If it was someone God was commanding you to marry, of course, you'd pursue this girl as long as His commandment was in effect, regardless of whether she sent encouraging feedback or not (although of course God sometimes uses such feedback as part of His will-clarifying process).  And of course, if marriage were to ensue, once the marriage vow is made, agape-love toward her is enjoined for the rest of your lives regardless of how the "attraction" waxes or wanes.

Typical percentages for me, of all the girls my age in my life: (1a): 30%, (1b): 20%, (2a): 40%, (2b): 10%.

 

Tactics I've found helpful:  (for a born-again-through-Christ single man who desires to please God by implementing pure relationships, whether or not marriage ever comes)

1.  Schedule intentional time to spend with godly families with children.   This alleviates loneliness, helps to restore 'normalcy' and sanity, and provides interesting opportunities to observe 'what works' and 'what doesn't work' in child rearing and spousal relationships. It also has potential to help the family too.

2.  Develop the mental habit of constantly forcing the girls in one's field-of-view or life-situation into the Biblical categories.  For example: 1 Timothy 5:1-2 "Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity."   So all girls would be considered as either "wife" or "non-wife", and "non-wife" would be those I ought to appeal to as "mothers" or as "sisters".   Don't allow the slightest hint of romantic affection to creep into any "non-wife" relationship, and if it ever creeps in, repent as soon as you notice it and ask Christ to help you eliminate it.
Another important passage: 1 Thessalonians 4--
 2For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
3For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
4that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
5not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
6and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
7For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.
8So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
Following Lindvall, I think the word "defraud" in verse 6 is quite enlightening.  Anything that takes romantic affections away from those who rightfully own it (one's own potential future wife, or another woman's husband or future husband) is stealing and should be avoided.

3.  In the specific case of (1b) if a married woman seems attracted to you, be "on guard" and avoid excessive friendliness and be ready to follow Joseph's example of "fleeing" if/when necessary (regardless of the outcome!).  Remember that what she really needs is Christ (or more-of-Christ, if she already has Him), and that God is watching you, whether you will be faithful in protecting her marriage, or not.

4.  In cases (2a) and (2b), if you sense that your attraction to them is causing you to be constantly "losing the battle" of treating them "normally"/"sisterly" when you spend time around them, seriously consider/pray about not spending that time!  Separate yourself; do whatever it takes to facilitate holiness.  Change your lunch hour, find a new job, move to a different church, move to a different state, whatever.  If you think that sounds too radical, consider this statement:
"If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire. If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell."
The speaker, of course, is Jesus Christ, in Matthew 18.

5.  Trying to "abstain" from affectionate relationship is only a very temporary fix.  The ultimate solution is more and deeper satisfaction in Christ.  That is to say: "idols of the heart cannot be removed; they can only be replaced." Consider: "...seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust." (2 Peter 1:3-4)
How do we escape this "corruption that is in the world by lust"?  Through the "knowledge of Him" and through His "precious and magnificent promises".
How does this work?  What does it look like?  As far as I can tell, it means focusing on heaven.   That is, focusing on the soon-coming time when we will be fully satisfied, forever, by Christ Himself and everything He will give us / show us / etc.   When you do this, many people (even many close Christian friends) will tell you you're focusing too much on heaven and ought to instead be focusing more on earthly happiness.    IGNORE THEM.  God's opinion of you is all that matters.

6. Along the same lines, spending time ALONE in prayer with God and spending time MEDITATING on His Word seem to be great practical helps in this realignment of our desires.   Jesus apparently did it a lot.

7. Recognize that serious misunderstandings from others will inevitably come as you try to pursue pure relationships.  Unsaved people will think you're nuts for not trying to get "as much as you can squeeze" out of  relationships with girls.  Christian people will constantly try to match you up with girls, tell you you ought to get married, tell you there's something wrong with you, etc.  Also on the other side-- you will hear rumors that girls think you're weird, etc.  People will gossip behind your back about how you're sexually perverted, either homosexually or heterosexually, and 'that's why you're not married'.  Husbands will ask you not to spend time alone with their wives because their wives feel uncomfortable around you.  All these things, and more (cf. Joseph in Egypt!!) may come upon you.  BUT, you can be prepared to do two things: Forgive everyone for everything (i.e. let God do the judging and repaying), and, focus your attention on what God thinks about you, not what other people think about you.

By His own hand and faithfulness
He steers me toward a distant shore
And the wind that billows in the sail
Is grace and nothing more
Yes, it's grace and nothing more

 

 

Some thoughts on Lamentations 3.    First, a brief intro.  Then the passage copied and pasted for you to read.   Then some thoughts.  Notice: this is a very long post.   I have kind of a backlog of xanga posts right now... I started this particular post more than a week ago, but haven't had time to finish it until now... and I have a few more things that I wanted to write about but haven't had time to write this week.

-----

Jeremiah was a young man who was called by God to give his nation a message.  He was scared and told God he didn't know how to speak and that he was only a youth.  God told him not to be afraid.

Jeremiah told the inhabitants of Jerusalem to repent, or else God would judge them.  They laughed at him.

Then the Babylonians came and besieged Jerusalem.  Jeremiah told the Jews that they should surrender, for their own good.  Now Jeremiah's neighbors didn't laugh at him anymore.  They called him a traitor.

The king put him in jail, and he was thrown into an empty water pit and almost died by sinking into the mud at the bottom.  He was pulled out just in time by one of his friends.

The Jews sent to the Pharaoh of Egypt for help against the Babylonans, despite Jeremiah's warning (from prison) not to do so.  Their attempt to enlist the Egyptians backfired.  Within a couple months, the Babylonians broke into Jerusalem and horrifically destroyed the city.

Jeremiah was taken with the other captives to Babylon, where he wrote the poetry now known as the book of "Lamentations".   In chapters 1 and 2, he laments specific aspects of the destruction.  In Chapter 3, he gets a little more 'philosophical', drawing some conclusions from what he has learned in his grief.
Lamentations 3, whole chapter

    1 I am the man who has seen affliction
Because of the rod of His wrath.
2He has driven me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
3Surely against me He has turned His hand
Repeatedly all the day.
4He has caused my flesh and my skin to waste away,
He has broken my bones.
5He has besieged and encompassed me with bitterness and hardship.
6In dark places He has made me dwell,
Like those who have long been dead.
7He has walled me in so that I cannot go out;
He has made my chain heavy.
8Even when I cry out and call for help,
He shuts out my prayer.
9He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.
10He is to me like a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in secret places.
11He has turned aside my ways and torn me to pieces;
He has made me desolate.
12He bent His bow
And set me as a target for the arrow.
13He made the arrows of His quiver
To enter into my inward parts.
14I have become a laughingstock to all my people,
Their mocking song all the day.
15He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drunk with wormwood.
16He has broken my teeth with gravel;
He has made me cower in the dust.
17My soul has been rejected from peace;
I have forgotten happiness.
18So I say, "My strength has perished,
And so has my hope from the LORD."
19Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.
20Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
21This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
25The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
26It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD.
27It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
28Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
29Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
30Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
31For the Lord will not reject forever,
32For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant lovingkindness.
33For He does not afflict willingly
Or grieve the sons of men.
34To crush under His feet
All the prisoners of the land,
35To deprive a man of justice
In the presence of the Most High,
36To defraud a man in his lawsuit--
Of these things the Lord does not approve.
37Who is there who speaks and it comes to pass,
Unless the Lord has commanded it?
38Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That both good and ill go forth?
39Why should any living mortal, or any man,
Offer complaint in view of his sins?
40Let us examine and probe our ways,
And let us return to the LORD.
41We lift up our heart and hands
Toward God in heaven;
42We have transgressed and rebelled,
You have not pardoned.
43You have covered Yourself with anger
And pursued us;
You have slain and have not spared.
44You have covered Yourself with a cloud
So that no prayer can pass through.
45You have made us mere offscouring and refuse
In the midst of the peoples.
46All our enemies have opened their mouths against us.
47Panic and pitfall have befallen us,
Devastation and destruction;
48My eyes run down with streams of water
Because of the destruction of the daughter of my people.
49My eyes pour down unceasingly,
Without stopping,
50Until the LORD looks down
And sees from heaven.
51My eyes bring pain to my soul
Because of all the daughters of my city.
52My enemies without cause
Hunted me down like a bird;
53They have silenced me in the pit
And have placed a stone on me.
54Waters flowed over my head;
I said, "I am cut off!"
55I called on Your name, O LORD,
Out of the lowest pit.
56You have heard my voice,
"Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief,
From my cry for help."
57You drew near when I called on You;
You said, "Do not fear!"
58O Lord, You have pleaded my soul's cause;
You have redeemed my life.
59O LORD, You have seen my oppression;
Judge my case.
60You have seen all their vengeance,
All their schemes against me.
61You have heard their reproach, O LORD,
All their schemes against me.
62The lips of my assailants and their whispering
Are against me all day long.
63Look on their sitting and their rising;
I am their mocking song.
64You will recompense them, O LORD,
According to the work of their hands.
65You will give them hardness of heart,
Your curse will be on them.
66You will pursue them in anger and destroy them
From under the heavens of the LORD!

Lamentations 3 again, with interspersed comments

    1 I am the man who has seen affliction
Because of the rod of His wrath.
2He has driven me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
3Surely against me He has turned His hand
Repeatedly all the day.
4He has caused my flesh and my skin to waste away,
He has broken my bones.
5He has besieged and encompassed me with bitterness and hardship.
6In dark places He has made me dwell,
Like those who have long been dead.
7He has walled me in so that I cannot go out;
He has made my chain heavy.
8Even when I cry out and call for help,
He shuts out my prayer.
9He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.
10He is to me like a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in secret places.
11He has turned aside my ways and torn me to pieces;
He has made me desolate.
12He bent His bow
And set me as a target for the arrow.
13He made the arrows of His quiver
To enter into my inward parts.
14I have become a laughingstock to all my people,
Their mocking song all the day.
15He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drunk with wormwood.
16He has broken my teeth with gravel;
He has made me cower in the dust.
17My soul has been rejected from peace;
I have forgotten happiness.
18So I say, "My strength has perished,
And so has my hope from the LORD."

Jeremiah is here "brutally honest" with his feelings about God in his suffering.  Few places in the Bible are as explicit as this, and even fewer writings of modern American evangelicalism.

Jeremiah emphasizes that it is GOD who has deliberately brought this hardship into his life.  It is GOD who "set me as a target for the arrow".   It didn't just happen.

God, furthermore, "shuts out my prayer".  When Jeremiah asked God for national relief, none came.  Cf. vs 44, 55-56...?  When people asked God to relent on the national calamity, He shut out their prayer.  When Jeremiah asked God for physical deliverance when he was about to die, God answered him.  Yet God doesn't answer all such prayers.  Why the variability?  What principle can be drawn?  Maybe just that God answers some prayers and not others... ?

Why would God allow His own special prophet, the godly man, to suffer in this way?  ...to be mocked by the vulgar people, to experience no peace in his heart, etc?   Why do really bad things happen to God's own people, when they are walking closely with Him in righteousness?
    19Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness.
20Surely my soul remembers
And is bowed down within me.
21This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
25The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
What was Jeremiah's consolation in the midst of his grief?  Apparently, the belief that EVENTUALLY, God would turn around and bring peace and honor and joy to his life.  The whole Bible echos this theme repeatedly.   However, for most people this reversal is not promised in this life.

On v. 25, cf. Isaiah 40:31/context.

    25The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
26It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD.
27It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
28Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.

"It is good that he waits silently....  what does this mean?  "Let him sit alone and be silent."  Is it better to sit alone, when suffering grief, rather than seek the company of friends?

Cf. Jeremiah 15 -

    15You who know, O LORD,
Remember me, take notice of me,
And take vengeance for me on my persecutors
Do not, in view of Your patience, take me away;
Know that for Your sake I endure reproach.
16Your words were found and I ate them,
And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;
For I have been called by Your name,
O LORD God of hosts.
17I did not sit in the circle of merrymakers,
Nor did I exult
Because of Your hand upon me I sat alone,
For You filled me with indignation.
18Why has my pain been perpetual
And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?
Will You indeed be to me like a deceptive stream
With water that is unreliable?

There may well be a place for silent isolated endurance of grief.  But perhaps Jeremiah is talking more about the loneliness that occurs when one is concerned about the things of God, and one's neighbors and acquaintances and even family and church friends don't care about God and His Kingdom purposes.  Why God, says Jeremiah, are you pouring out your fury upon me, when I was the one concerned about following You and about righteousness and about my nation while my acquaintances didn't care and just partied?   They all criticized and mocked me, even though "I was called by Your name" and I deeply loved Your Word.  Why me?
    29Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
30Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
This seems to be talking about "humbling oneself"... even extremely/excessively...  not clamoring for justice for himself, but 'waiting' for God's vindication...

Cf. Jesus -- "while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously..."  2 Peter 2:23

and Peter's conclusion: "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time..."  1 Peter 5:6

 

Another powerful example of this is David, when fleeing from Absalom.  Here's the story from 2 Samuel 16-

⁵When King David came to Bahurim, behold, there came out from there a man of the family of the house of Saul whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera; he came out cursing continually as he came.
⁶He threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David; and all the people and all the mighty men were at his right hand and at his left.
⁷Thus Shimei said when he cursed, "Get out, get out, you man of bloodshed, and worthless fellow!
⁸"The LORD has returned upon you all the bloodshed of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the LORD has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. And behold, you are taken in your own evil, for you are a man of bloodshed!"
⁹Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, "Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over now and cut off his head."
¹⁰But the king said, "What have I to do with you, O sons of Zeruiah? If he curses, and if the LORD has told him, 'Curse David,' then who shall say, 'Why have you done so?'"
¹¹Then David said to Abishai and to all his servants, "Behold, my son who came out from me seeks my life; how much more now this Benjamite? Let him alone and let him curse, for the LORD has told him.
¹²"Perhaps the LORD will look on my affliction and return good to me instead of his cursing this day."
¹³So David and his men went on the way; and Shimei went along on the hillside parallel with him and as he went he cursed and cast stones and threw dust at him.

 

False accusations.....   how extremely extremely painful they can be.   I have experienced them myself, and several of my friends have also.

Was David "a man of bloodshed" as Shimei said?  Was God punishing David because of his treatment of Saul's family, or because David was somehow 'in cahoots' with violent deeds of his predecessor Saul?  Was David a usurper of Saul's crown, and now God was booting him out because of his past?

There are so many ways David could have responded.  He could have spoken about his extreme respect for his father-in-law Saul, and how he refrained from killing him many times when all his friends were urging him to kill him, and when Saul's death would have made life a lot safer and more pleasant for David.  He could have quoted one of his own psalms about how he habitually walked in integrity and righteousness and honesty before God (confessing and forsaking sins as soon as possible).  He could have quoted the story of Job to illustrate that personal calamity does NOT necessarily mean that the person is being judged for some particular sin.  He could have reminded Shimei that Samuel had personally annointed David king in Saul's place, so that David was indeed God's approved/rightful king.

But David responded instead in complete humility.   "If he curses, and if the LORD has told him, 'Curse David,' then who shall say, 'Why have you done so?'" ...Let him alone and let him curse, for the LORD has told him."

What is going on here?  What is David cognizant of that Abishai was overlooking?

His own sin.    The sins he really DID commit.

That is to say ---  every time someone accuses you falsely of something, you have a choice:  You can either get defensive and upset and try to vindicate yourself, or you take the accusation quietly and use it as an opportunity to personally repent of OTHER sins in your life.  Every false accusation people make against you is an opportunity for you to walk more closely with God!   Wow.

Specifically, in David's case, although he was innocent in Saul's case, he was spectacularly guilty in the case of Bathsheba.  He really could legitimately be labeled "a man of bloodshed", after having slept with Bathsheba and then having killed Uriah by proxy so that he could marry Bathsheba.   After the debacle, Nathan had said the following to him from God:  'Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.'  This had indeed come true - his son Amnon had raped his half sister Tamar, then his other son Absalom had killed Amnon in revenge, and now Absalom had just staged a revolution and deposed him from being king.   David was mindful of his own sin, and so he responded in humility to the criticism.....    essentially, "Yes, I am indeed a very wicked person.  Probably far more wicked than you're even aware of.  Although the specific thing you're accusing me of is incorrect, I have so much other evil in my past and present that it's not worth trying to defend myself here.  The One I am putting all my hope in is God.  He is the One who has forgiven all of my sin through the coming Lamb-of-God-who-takes-away-the-sins-of-the-world (Psalm 32, 51), and He is the One who will vindicate me in this matter you're falsely accusing me of."

Wow.  What an example...  this is exactly what Jeremiah is talking about, albeit back and forth between 'personal' and 'national' senses, in Lamentations 3 --

    25The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
26It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD.
27It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
28Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
29Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
30Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
...
39Why should any living mortal, or any man,
Offer complaint in view of his sins?
40Let us examine and probe our ways,
And let us return to the LORD.
41We lift up our heart and hands
Toward God in heaven;
42We have transgressed and rebelled...
If it ever happens to you that circumstances shatter your life, and then on top of everything some of your friends start to point fingers at you and say that it happened because of such and such a sin in your life (while you know that their remarks are not accurate), and when the gossip causes you to lose friendships and other things that you consider precious, use that as an opportunity to "examine and probe your ways, and return to the Lord."

Sure you may be innocent in that matter that they're falsely accusing you of, but you surely have other sins in your life that need to end!   Sure the Lord is not crushing you in punishment for those sins, but He is graciously crushing you in discipline... 

"He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness." Hebrews 12:10

"...when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world." 1 Corinthians 11:32
   31For the Lord will not reject forever,
32For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant lovingkindness. 

Huge, awesome promise here!   Again, nowhere does it say that this reversal will happen in THIS life, on THIS side of death.    But EVENTUALLY, it will happen........

    33For He does not afflict willingly
Or grieve the sons of men.
34To crush under His feet
All the prisoners of the land,
35To deprive a man of justice
In the presence of the Most High,
36To defraud a man in his lawsuit--
Of these things the Lord does not approve. 

Well, why do these things happen then????

If God is good and kind so that He does not "approve" these things, and if God is big enough and powerful enough to put a stop to them right NOW, then why doesn't He?

...the fact that evil exists implies either that God doesn't exist (as the atheists argue), OR... that He has some bigger and better plan, such that although the short term brush strokes are heartbreaking (to Himself as well as to us and others), the complete painting will be so awesomely beautiful as to be worth every single stroke.... such that not a single item of earthly life will be desired to have occurred differently, when seen from the perspective of eternity.... such that we might, in fact, indeed be living in 'the best of all possible worlds'.

Lamentations 3:33 is an incredibly important verse.  Is this true?  The implications are huge.

What kind of a Father would send His Son on a mission, knowing that His Son would end up being crucified?

I highly recommend this article "Are there two wills in God?" by John Piper and the book "God's Greater Glory" by Bruce Ware to investigate this point more fully..... how God "unwillingly wills" evil to occur, in a sovereignly-permissive way (yet with 100% meticulous ordained sovereign control, cf. 2 Chronicles 18:19?!?!?!?!)  while in contrast "willingly wills" good to occur... "   Literally in Lam. 3:33 "from-His-heart", as "He does not afflict from-His-heart".... He reluctantly allows evil acts to be performed, ravaging sicknesses to kill, earthquakes, tornados, car crashes, etc (and perfectly using each 'bad' event for overall good, Genesis 50:20), while joyfully "from-His-heart" "willingly" pours out love upon His adopted children "according to His abundant lovingkindness"........

 

More: look at the "spectrum texts":

    37Who is there who speaks and it comes to pass,
Unless the Lord has commanded it?
38Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That both good and ill go forth? 

Contrary to the sunday-schoolish notion of God as a jolly old guy who chuckles when people have good harvests and get married but wrings His hands and disowns responsibility for wars and tsunamis,  the Biblical God is a robust, energetic, majestic Lion of a Personage who roars with laughter when the tiny squeaking voice of the wicked shrills self-exalting words.... the weeping-and-laughing King who BOASTS repeatedly to His dearly loved people of His sovereign omnipotence....

    "I am the LORD, and there is no other;
Besides Me there is no God
I will gird you, though you have not known Me;
That men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun
That there is no one besides Me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other,
The One forming light and creating darkness,
Causing well-being and creating calamity;
I am the LORD who does all these."    (Isaiah 45:5-7)

One implication of Lam 3:37 is that any human authority that exists has been established by God... Romans 13:1...  As Jesus said to Pilate - "You would have no authority over me unless it had been given to you from above."   This can give us peace if/when the government (or other authorities) abuses its authority.... God sees... He doesn't miss anything...
    39Why should any living mortal, or any man,
Offer complaint in view of his sins?
40Let us examine and probe our ways,
And let us return to the LORD.
41We lift up our heart and hands
Toward God in heaven;
42We have transgressed and rebelled,
You have not pardoned.
43You have covered Yourself with anger
And pursued us;
You have slain and have not spared.
44You have covered Yourself with a cloud
So that no prayer can pass through.
45You have made us mere offscouring and refuse
In the midst of the peoples.
46All our enemies have opened their mouths against us.
47Panic and pitfall have befallen us,
Devastation and destruction;
48My eyes run down with streams of water
Because of the destruction of the daughter of my people.
...
51My eyes bring pain to my soul
Because of all the daughters of my city. 

Jeremiah repents for the sin of his people...  He admits that God's judgment against them was justified... but he still cries over the awfulness of it all...

 

    49My eyes pour down unceasingly,
Without stopping,
50Until the LORD looks down
And sees from heaven.

What is Jeremiah saying here?  I don't quite understand what he's praying for.   Any thoughts?

 
    52My enemies without cause
Hunted me down like a bird;
53They have silenced me in the pit
And have placed a stone on me.
54Waters flowed over my head;
I said, "I am cut off!"
55I called on Your name, O LORD,
Out of the lowest pit.
56You have heard my voice,
"Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief,
From my cry for help."
57You drew near when I called on You;
You said, "Do not fear!"
58O Lord, You have pleaded my soul's cause;
You have redeemed my life. 

His own story, in poetic form... read the prose here...

God sometimes gives these awesome direct deliverances.    But sometimes He doesn't, I think (Hebrews 11)..... am I right or wrong about this?    Anyway, either way He will be glorified... and in the END, He will certainly 'deliver' all His servants.... just not all of them here in this life.....

 
    59O LORD, You have seen my oppression;
Judge my case.
60You have seen all their vengeance,
All their schemes against me.

 

Again-- trusting in God for vindication, not in human justice...   God is the one who sees all and will reveal all secrets at the Judgment Day... including the thoughts and motives of every man's heart....

 
    61You have heard their reproach, O LORD,
All their schemes against me.
62The lips of my assailants and their whispering
Are against me all day long.
63Look on their sitting and their rising;
I am their mocking song.
64You will recompense them, O LORD,
According to the work of their hands.
65You will give them hardness of heart,
Your curse will be on them.
66You will pursue them in anger and destroy them
From under the heavens of the LORD!

 

"Give them hardness of heart"....    Wow.... what a terrible curse to ask for someone!!    To what extent is it right/good/proper/correct for us to pray imprecatory curses of this sort upon our enemies ( / "the enemies of the Lord") ?

 

 

In summary, the verse that could summarize the whole chapter, the whole book and in some sense (for those who have believed in Christ Jesus), the whole Bible:

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."

"Being in love is a very moving experience.  It is like a river that over the years has rushing currents, crashing waterfalls, deep peaceful flows, eddies that swirl with scum, windblown backward drifts, surface heavings from boulders beneath, and long clean stretches of open water."

-- (John Piper, from the introduction to Velvet Steel, the book of poems written to his wife over 40 years, compiled and published recently)

 

Well said, John.

 

 

But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
-- 1 Corinthians 7:29-31