This section of Scripture provides a fascinating answer.  My comments are below.

Matthew 20:1-16
"For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.
When he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius for the day, he sent them into his vineyard.
And he went out about the third hour and saw others standing idle in the market place; and to those he said, 'You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.' And so they went.
Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did the same thing.
And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, 'Why have you been standing here idle all day long?'
They said to him, 'Because no one hired us.' He said to them, 'You go into the vineyard too.'
When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last group to the first.'
When those hired about the eleventh hour came, each one received a denarius.
When those hired first came, they thought that they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius.
When they received it, they grumbled at the landowner, saying, 'These last men have worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the scorching heat of the day.'
But he answered and said to one of them, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for a denarius?
'Take what is yours and go, but I wish to give to this last man the same as to you.
'Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?'
So the last shall be first, and the first last."

 
According to Jesus, God is not "fair"... He is far more generous than that.

On Judgment Day, no one will be able to accuse God of treating them worse than they deserve.  But millions of us will attest that God has treated us far better than we deserve!

(Visit this link for all my book reviews http://tim223.xanga.com/category/book-reviews/ )

Why God Calls Us To Dangerous Places, by Kate McCord
This is a beautiful, thought-provoking book, interwoven with stories from her experiences of 9 years in Afghanistan.  Why do we go (or support those who go)?  Primarily, because God loves those people, and His love begins to transform us so that we begin to love them too.  She has great insights about loss, PTSD, ministry burnout, etc... great insights on how to rest in God and be at peace when all around you comes crashing down, when your friends die (or are murdered), when you are threatened, etc.  When terrorists plot to attack us and do attack us, may our heart be that described in this book.  So far opposite from "let's nuke them all", let our heart instead be, "Who will go to tell them about the love of Jesus?"  See also my previous review of her (excellent) book "In the Land of Blue Burqas".

The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
You've probably heard of this book, even if you haven't read it.  I finally got around to reading it.  I was afraid that it was going to be oversimplistic... but it was not.  His main point is that people experience 'feeling loved' in very different ways (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch), and that husbands and wives need to learn how to speak the other's love language.  He explains how he 'discovered' each one by various conversations with his clients (he is a professional counselor).  He includes lots of stories, including about those whose marriages were falling apart.  He is a Christian, but keeps most of the book 'generic' and secular... until the last chapter or so, when he explains about Christ's love.  Excellent, worth reading, overall.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
This is the true story of how a very liberal and atheistic woman found Christ.  She explains her journey into identifying as a lesbian, and her journey to become an English professor at Syracuse University, teaching Gay and Lesbian Studies.  She happened to become connected with a caring Christian, who took the time to invite her to dialog regularly about matters of faith over dinner with himself and his wife.  Through this friendship, she reevaluated Christ and the Bible, and eventually came to believe in Christ.  This began to massively change her lifestyle, as she chronicles.  Later in her life, she became married, became an adoptive/foster mom, and homeschooled her children.  This is a beautiful, well-written, testimony... well worth reading.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, by Patricia Evans
This book discusses relationships (primarily husband-wife) where one person (typically, but not always, the husband) verbally abuses the other person.  Most of the book is focused on description (and true stories).  She categories all people as holding to either a "Power-over" mindset or a "Personal power" mindset, which is rather simplistic, but there is some value in the distinction.  (The "Power-over" mindset perfectly describe the consequences of the Fall that the Bible discusses in Genesis 3:16.)  Chapter 11 and 12 have some great, helpful, advice on how to respond to abuse in a way that will hopefully cause the abuser to notice the problem and begin to change.  Basically, 'set limits'/'boundaries' in your own mind before the abuse happens (for example, 'I will not allow him to yell at me', or 'I will not allow him to demean me'), and then if it happens, respond forcefully 'Cut it out', or 'I will not accept that sort of speech', or, walk away.  In cases of physical abuse, of course, flee.  Chapter 13 on recovery is also good.  Convicting for all to read, and helpful if (/when) we have friends going through this type of marital stress, to be able to provide support and counsel.  Worth reading (or at least skimming, chapters 1, 11, 12, 13).  However, sadly, it is completely secular... so unable to discuss the powerful wisdom from Ephesians, etc.  Eggerichs' "Love and Respect" is more helpful in this area, and also even "For Men Only"/"For Women Only" by the Feldhahns (even though the latter mostly restrains itself to secular points).

And the Word Came With Power, by Joanne Shetler and Patricia Purvis
Powerful true story(ies) of how the Bible was translated for the Balangao people in the Philippines.  She shares many stories from her life there.  Especially powerful were all the times when God brought about events that she thought were catastrophic, but actually turned out for the best.  She prayed for the salvation of her host family for a LONG time, and nothing happened.  But eventually, they became believers in Jesus, and became powerful proponents of the gospel.  Also fascinating to hear about the confrontations between the evil spirits and the Spirit of God in the Christians.  Highly recommended book.

The Post-Church Christian: dealing with the generational baggage of our faith, by J. Paul Nyquist and Carson Nyquist
This book very well exposes and airs the reactionary complaints that millenials have against the 'institutionalized', 'tradition-bound', 'organized-religion', 'overprotective', 'cultural-christianity', 'anti-homosexual', 'judgmental', 'overly-political', 'hypocritical', Church (as they consider it).
Unfortunately, the response that J.Paul Nyquist tries to give to his son is rather weak.  He basically says 'try to be understanding to us (the older Christians), give us the benefit of the doubt, cut us some slack, understand our historical context'.  But our response should be to go back to Jesus, that iconoclastic, 'have you never read the scriptures' Man.
Typical paragraph from the book: "Thirty years ago, the American evangelical church member would never dream of being caught in a bar. Today, churches are being planted there. Amid the social environment found in pubs, we see opportunities to express the hope of Christ to those who enjoy a pint as they talk about life."
Their main takeaway points: don't give up on the church.  Increase authenticity, yes, sure, fine.  Remove excessive linkages between "God and country", sure.  Remove unbiblical legalism, yes by all means.  But don't throw out the Church - it has an important God-given function.   With this point, I agree.

You and Me Forever, by Francis and Lisa Chan
The Chans discuss marriage in this book, but first, they discuss putting Jesus at the center and top priority of one's life.  That is their main point... to stop focusing so much on marriage or singleness, and focus more on the kingdom of God in whatever station of life.  Since they are themselves married, it comes across as slightly tone-deaf to the struggles singles have, however, their bracing 'focus on Jesus'/'put His kingdom first' message is important and needed and overall Biblical.  They make much of Paul's instructions in 1 Cor. 7, and other passages.  They also generally live out what they preach, enhancing their message's impact.  Good book, a little strident at times, but worth reading and pondering.

Seven Marks of a New Testament Church, by David Alan Black
Excellent short book (only 50 pages).  He talks about these "7 marks"- Evangelistic preaching, Christian baptism, apostolic teaching, genuine relationships, Christ-centered gatherings, fervent prayer, sacrificial living, based on Acts 2.

Tactics, by Gregory Koukl
Excellent book.  When people hear of 'tactics' in the context of apologetics, most millenials are turned off because they assume it's about manipulation and argumentation, which they want to avoid.  Instead, Koukl presents ways of using questions to turn around conversations that start out with someone asking you a hostile question related to your faith, so that you can expose the deeper beliefs underlying the question, and move into a respectful, healthy, dialog.  This book is worth reading over and over, and practicing its contents, not for the purpose of manipulation, but for the sake of truly loving our neighbors, and helping them find out the awesome truth about Jesus.

From Heaven He Came and Sought Her
This book is a collection of essays about Particular Atonement ("Limited Atonement").  It thoroughly covers the historical views of the Church in the past centuries, and then gets into the Scriptural/theological discussion.  It's a tough, slow, closely-reasoned read, but worth slogging through.

The Genesis Account, by Jonathan Safarti
This is a scientific and theological commentary on Genesis 1-11.  It is a very thorough, even, solid, well-documented, well-reasoned, and objective commentary.  As a reference book, it's not for light reading (some of Sarfati's other books like "Refuting Evolution" or "Refuting Compromise" are easier to read), but it's well worth slowly reading.  It covers all the major scientific evidences for/against various age theories of the earth and evolution, and all the current and past hermeneutical interpretations of Genesis 1-11.  Excellent.

Cold Case Christianity, A Homicide Detective Investigates The Claims of the Gospels, by J. Warner Wallace
This is an awesome book.  It focuses on whether the gospel accounts (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) about Jesus are accurate or not.  The author was an atheist until his thirties, and a homicide detective who specialized in solving cold cases (unsolved crimes from decades past).  When he began to investigate the gospel accounts, he realized that they have all the marks of true eyewitness accounts.  This book covers the same historical facts as many other apologetics books (Josh McDowell, etc), but is extremely well-written, and with a fresh perspective.

Debating Darwin's Doubt, edited by David Klinghoffer
This book is basically a collection of online articles written as back-and-forth debate followup to Steven Meyer's "Darwin's Doubt".  It discusses the major objections of all the critics, and offers rebuttal.  It is a little hard to read, and a little repetitive, but overall a good, very solid and thorough, rebuttal of the critics' arguments and confirmation that Meyer's basic point was correct: the sudden appearance of Cambrian animals in the fossil layer cannot be explained through Darwinian/neoDarwinian evolution, nor through any other non-intelligent materialistic causes.  An Intelligent Designer is the proper inference to the Cambrian fossil record.

This is fascinating - this university president wanted to eliminate struggling freshmen students out of his university after one month of classes, before the deadline to report them as 'enrolled' - in this way, he planned to increase the "retention" rate of his university.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/02/09/the-controversy-at-mount-st-marys-goes-national-after-professors-are-fired/

It was a 'clever' plan, though perhaps not very compassionate. Perhaps this approach stems from a Darwinist 'survival-of-the-fittest' view?  Wouldn't a better way be to provide help for the struggling students?  That's what we seek to do at the university where I teach...

The students were planned to be "helped out the door" based on their survey responses to questions like this: "How often were each of the following things true in the last week?:  I felt depressed.  I felt that I could not shake the blues, even with the help of family and friends.  I thought my life had been a failure.  I felt that people disliked me."

It seems to me that students like this need a friend... someone to come alongside them and tell them about Jesus... about the fact that God loves them... that they are valuable in His sight... that they are precious, and worthwhile, and that God cares so much about them that "every hair on [their] head is numbered".

Here are some more recent book reviews.  For more of my reviews, see here http://tim223.xanga.com/category/book-reviews/

• The Dating Manifesto, by Lisa Anderson  - I was somewhat disappointed in this book, but I think my expectations were too high.  Most of her advice is relatively good, common-sense advice.  However, there is very little that is new in here.  It is more like a 'rant', to be honest, although one with reasonable advice, overall.  Advice like 'stop seeking THE ONE', 'give some trusted friends veto power over your relationships', the importance of getting off the couch watching TV in the basement and growing up / becoming more mature / getting involved in the church, etc.
  Having recently read (and reviewed) Thomas Umstattd's book about dating which came out the same day (August 1, 2015), I was interested to hear the advice from a single female perspective. Lisa Anderson is 43, and has worked at the Christian singles magazine "Boundless" (part of Focus on the Family) for many years.
  Her writing style is to point out extremes on two sides, and rail against them with witty language.  "Don't be like THIS, but on the other hand don't be like THIS either."  Unfortunately, I did not find this helpful, because everyone knows to avoid those extremes.  I was looking for info that was practical, that I could use in my own life.
  Sometimes her advice seems to be contradictory.  For example, in one place she writes:

"I'm always puzzled by guys who say they're waiting for God to bring their wives to them, or at the very least they're waiting for God to point them out.  Um, when did that ever happen in the Bible, except maybe for Adam?  In the stories I read, men are going to wells to find their wives or they're enlisting family members to assist in the search or they're letting women glean in their fields after discerning their reputation and marriageability. ... Your search needs to begin with a healthy amount of prayer to align your attitudes and expectations.  Then you figure out who's in your circle.  Because that's the most logical place to start.  Observe the habits and character of the single women you know.  Interact with them if you can, whether in class, at church functions, volunteer opportunities, or whatever.  You don't need their complete history, just an idea of what they're about.  Remeber, you date to find out the rest.  Then the simple but hard part: ask one girl out.  Just do it."

But on the other hand, she wrote in another place:

"One other word for both men and women on the matter of friendship: I hear many singles, primarily those who are in mixed-gender groups that socialize a lot together, say that they are hesitant to date folks in their sphere of acquaintance because they don't want to ruin the friendship.  This is so lame.  By the time you're out of college, your opposite-sex friend group should be dwindling.  Because, quite frankly, you don't have time to invest in all those people.  Furthermore, if you're afraid to risk dating one or more of those friends because you fear things becoming awkward if it doesn't work out, you're eliminating a highly eligible pool of dateable people.  Do you really need all those opposite-sex friends?  Nope.  If you're marriage-minded, what you need (and want), is a spouse.  So don't make those friendships a priority.  If you do, you'll be ten years down the road with an unwieldy gaggle of friends but no spouse in sight."

Of course, one could justify each of those passages, explaining how each one fits different circumstances.  But it seems to me that they directly conflict with each other.  How do you begin by looking for someone "in your circle", if you don't spend time building the circle of friendships in the first place?  On the other hand, what if you invest energy in building a circle of friends of both sexes, but still don't find in your circle a person of the opposite sex that you want to marry?

I would say, "keep building the circle bigger."  I suspect Lisa might agree, since in Chapter 10 she talks about all the time she pours into her friend circle.

On the topic of compatibility, she writes that men's standards for physical beauty/appearance of a potential wife are too high.  She cites approvingly articles by Scott Croft (such as "Brother, You're Like a Six") that tell guys that they should build friendships or dating relationships with godly girls that they are not physically attracted to, and then (implies Scott) they will gradually come to find the girl attractive enough to marry.
(I tend to disagree... Perhaps she's right about 'men in general', but I certainly wouldn't want her telling me that I have acted inappropriately regarding the particular women in my circle whom I have decided not to pursue because I'm not attracted to them.  It's nothing against those women.  I have extremely high respect for some of my godly female friends whom I am not attracted to.  However, I don't think I should try to marry them if I am not attracted to them.  Perhaps some other man will find them perfectly attractive.)  In another place, she writes:
"What else needs to happen in your search?  Well, you need to start paring down your marriage "must-haves" list.  Whether it has fifty or five hundred items on it, you need to get it down to about five.  They are:
*Is a true disciple of Jesus (someone in whom you see evidence of real Gospel transformation as outlined in the Bible)
*Is actively growing in his or her faith (no long-term stagnation or stall-outs)
*Is in a position to marry (time to get that job, guys!)
*Is humble and teachable
*Is someone who has a similar calling or whose calling you can join"

Two items missing from Lisa's list, which I think are profoundly important, are (6) physical attractiveness (to me) and (7) personality compatibility / chemistry / natural friendship affinity / shared interests.  There are gazillions of single Christian women I know who fit Lisa's five points, but don't fit my two additions, and hence I am still single.

Other items:
- I agree with her critiques of online dating.
- I agree with much of her advice to married people on how to help singles
- I agree with her point "it's ok to grieve", the chapter about the difficulties of being an older Christian single
- I strongly agree with her point of "Trust God" and His sovereignty (Chapter 11 and other places).  God is wise and loving.  He knows what we need, and will providentially provide it at the right time.

• The Meaning of Marriage, by Tim (and Kathy) Keller - Excellent book! Top quality (as are all TK books I've read), highly recommended.  He discusses many aspects of marriage (from his sermons preached for his church which has hundreds of singles, in NYC).  He shares candid stories of moments from his own marriage.  In particular, he discusses how to handle conflicts, how to avoid idolatry, etc.  It's written with lots of explanatory and persuasive text for the unbelieving reader, i.e. why is marriage better than cohabitation, etc... so while TK does quote the Bible, he also quotes lots of secular sources.  He reasons as if he was dialoging with secular philosophers about marriage, sometimes. So this book would be good reading for a nonChristian also.
  My favorite aspect of this book is how TK keeps bringing every topic back around to showcase the value of Christ... often at the end of each chapter.

• Beautifully Flawed, by Shari Rigby - Powerful, great, book.  She shares her life story, of how she experienced many painful relationships, seeking for love in the wrong places... and then eventually came to know God.  Shari is the actor who played "Cindy Hastings" in the movie "October Baby", the birth mother of the main character who had the abortion, and then was later forgiven by the main character.  Shari herself had an abortion at one point in her life. The point Shari makes at the end of her book is that God can redeem anyone... and that the mistakes and flaws in our lives are part of the story that God is weaving.
  Extended quote from her final book chapter:
  "As my journey continued and I rededicated my life to Christ, my story began to take on a new shape... I now wanted to grab ahold of each person I met and tell them, 'You can be loved and cherished.  You have a purpose. You are worthy, beautiful, unique, and different all at the same time because you were purposefully created by a Savior that loves you!'
  "Our Savior is a man who came to die for us, to leave His words of truth, to tell the story of a real leading man, an example for other men to follow, who treats women like the leading ladies they are.
  "Just as a roller coaster has many ups and downs, twists and turns, so has the pathway of my life.  Even when it seemed like I was about to fly off the tracks, I was given another chance to get back on the straight and narrow, to make better choices and continue on with purpose.
  "I began to identify myself as a leading lady to the Lord, and I'm so thankful He never gave up on me. Instead He continued to pursue me as a gentleman, allowing me to come to Him in my time, to eventually love Him with all my heart.  He redeemed me and showed me what real love looks like.
  "As I end this book, I want you to know that no matter what has happened in your life, you can still get out of the boat, walk in freedom, and carry out the unique purpose you were created for."

• The Gospel's Power and Message, by Paul Washer
  This book is basically a polemic against various forms of "shallow evangelical presentation of the gospel".  Paul carefully and step-by-step discusses different aspects of the gospel, quoting a lot of Scripture.  He emphasizes man's sinfulness, God's wrath against sin, and also discusses the other more commonly heard aspects such as God's love.  He correctly distinguishes between justification and sanctification, and presents the 'balanced' position of Reformed/Lordship Salvation while at the same time not neglecting the necessity of faith ("saving faith") on the part of the saved sinner.  He writes that justification is by faith alone (not of works in the slightest), yet at the same time, true faith will always produce works.  Basically, this book has a lot of excellent doctrinal thought.
  Unfortunately, it has a rather judgmental tone, lamenting on almost every page that 'too many preachers ignore this' or 'few churches mention this any more.'  If these statements could be removed, this book would be easier to read and would have a more powerful and unalloyed message.

Let me know if you have thoughts on these things!

I saw this article today about how "pay now, consume later" can help people gain more happiness from their monetary spending. http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/can-money-buy-happiness-2/

Quote:

Delay can enhance the pleasure of consumption not only by providing an opportunity to develop positive expectations, but also by enhancing what we call the "drool factor."

I wonder if this is part of the reason God chose to rescue a group of us humans (the Church) but not take us to glory immediately. Instead, He waits some thousands of years, while the gospel spreads throughout the world, and more and more people hear about and believe the truth... while also experiencing persecution and hardship for their belief in Jesus Christ, in addition to the regular pains and sorrows of this broken world.

As we look forward to being with God forever, the waiting period ('the betrothal period' before our 'marriage' to Christ, so so speak) enhances the drool factor... and thus our eventual happiness.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith (more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire) may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9, ESV

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:1-4, ESV

What to do when your wife shafts you?  When your wife disrespects you in public and private, hurts you emotionally, talks about divorce, lies about you to other people, and generally does not fulfil her marriage vows that she made to you?

For a Christian husband, there is only one option.

Keep on loving her.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body."
Ephesians 5:25-30

The command to husbands is unconditional: "love your wives".  It does not say "love her IF she treats you well".

The word for love here is "agape" love - unconditional love, choosing to put the other person's needs above your own.  It is not romantic love or "warm feelings" love.  Marriages always start out with warm romantic feelings, and there always comes a point after a few months or years where those feelings vanish, and things get hard.  At that point, the husband who is following Christ must "choose to keep loving (agape) his wife", even though he doesn't feel like it.

Christian husbands are to love their wife "as Christ loved the church."  Does Christ give up on us (the Church) when we sin?  Does he say, "I'm not going to love you any more! You have hurt me too much!"  No, he continues to love, forever.  Consider how much you and I have sinned.  Are we innocent?  But Jesus forgives us every single day, of so much more wickedness than the wife has done to you.

At this point, someone will say, "But Tim, you don't understand!  She has said SO many hurtful things to me!  She has lied so much about me to other people!  She has hurt my reputation permanently!  She has done so many bad things to me!  I just can't keep on loving her.  It's impossible."

My response is that the Bible's commands to Christian husbands are not conditional.  They apply just as much when the wife is hard to love.  That's where the rubber meets the road.  That's where the true manhood rises up...  the true spiritual strength... to follow Christ and obey His command even when it hurts.

What about the past?  Forget about the past.  Each day is a new day.  A new chance to 'turn over a new leaf' and show love to your wife.  If she doesn't respond, keep doing it.  Keep showing love to her every way you can, even if she rejects you every day for the rest of her life, and even if you don't feel like it.  Why?  The reward Christ will give you when you see Him is huge and eternal!

"Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end." -- Jesus Christ, Revelation 22:12-13

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:13-14

Here's an interesting letter.  The lady who wrote this was from Texas, and moved to Korea during the early 20th century.  She wrote this shortly after arriving, and shortly before dying of appendicitis.

Dad, mom!

This land, Chosun, is truely a beautiful land. They all resemble God. I see their good heart and zeal for the gospel, and I believe that in few years it will be a land overflowing with the love of Christ. I was children walking over 10 miles on barefoot to hear the gospel and the love of God in them encourages me.

But the persecution is getting stronger. Two days ago, three or four of those who have accepted Christ less than a week have been dragged away and were martyred. Missionary Thomas and James were also martyred. There were orders from the mission board to return, but the most missionaries are in hiding and worshiping with those whom they have shared the gospel with. It seems that they are all planning to be martyred. Tonight, I have strong desire to return home.

I remember you mom who resisted to the last moment of me leaving the port because of the stories of the hate of foreigners and opposition to the gospel.

Dad, Mom! Perhaps, this may be the last letter I will be writing. The seed that was sown in the backyard before I came out here must be filling our neighborhood with flowers. Another seed bear many flowers in the land of Chosun and they will be seeds to other nations.

I will bury my heart in this land. I realized that this passion for Chosun that I have is not mine but God’s passion toward Chosun.

Mom, Dad! I love you.

https://pastorqkim.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/thinking-of-ruby-kendricks/

Here are some good articles about singleness, dating, romance, etc.  I loosely categorized them below.  I also listed some of my own articles in the mix - the ones listed from xanga.com.   I hope these are helpful and a blessing to you.  I am not an expert, but one thing I know - Jesus Christ is worth everything.

Foundational reminders about eternity, and the theological significance of our singleness

• http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/for-single-men-and-women-and-the-rest-of-us  - great reminder about eternity.
• http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/sex-and-the-single-person  - from John Piper, great practical points at the end of this link (though with caveat from me on #8)
• http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/20-quotes-on-loneliness  - good quotes from Paul Matthies on loneliness and singleness, with testimony
• My articles: http://tim223.xanga.com/2011/10/17/true-love-sex-purity-and-jesus-christ/  and http://tim223.xanga.com/2010/06/24/700/  (marriage is momentary)  and http://tim223.xanga.com/2009/02/14/625/  (singleness will not be forever)

 Articles exhorting to use the current single life to its fullest

• http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/love-the-single-chapter-of-your-life  - use this "single chapter" as a gift, to do what ministries are too difficult for marrieds/families to do and to do what we ourselves may be unable to do in the future
• http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2011/dont-waste-your-disappointment - from Elizabeth Adams
• http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/nine-lies-in-the-not-yet-married-life  - reminders to focus on developing character now, not then.
• http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/single-satisfied-and-sent-mission-for-the-not-yet-married
• http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thoughtlife/2014/04/david-platt-dont-squander-your-singleness/

More 'testimonial'-type articles

• http://www.worldmag.com/2014/12/wrestling_with_god  - testimony written by Sophia Lee in Los Angeles, well said.
• http://cbmw.org/uncategorized/the-god-who-knows-the-end-of-your-singleness/  - good testimony by a 37-year old single.
• http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-single-man-s-journey-to-sexual-happiness  - Idolatry vs satisfaction in Jesus.  Easy to say, completely true, hard to live.
• Mosab Hassan Yosef, talking about his life as a new Christian in Los Angeles, in the final few minutes of The Green Prince documentary
• My articles: http://tim223.xanga.com/2007/10/14/763/  - a great quote from Ann Kiemel Anderson , http://tim223.xanga.com/2008/11/14/634/  - "thy Jesus can repay from His own fullness all He takes away" , http://tim223.xanga.com/2008/06/20/726/  - "Love and Respect" - for singles? , http://tim223.xanga.com/2008/04/22/735/  - "Affections of the heart cannot simply be removed, they must be replaced."   "God's School of Maturity" – http://tim223.xanga.com/2008/02/04/742/ and http://tim223.xanga.com/2008/02/16/741/ and  http://tim223.xanga.com/2007/10/21/760/ and http://tim223.xanga.com/2008/10/27/638/ and http://tim223.xanga.com/2007/09/22/768/ and http://tim223.xanga.com/2009/02/17/623/

Practical/how-to articles regarding dating/courtship/living-amidst-peer-pressure-as-a-single/etc

• This article has a great mixture of all of the above, including the theological foundations: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/10-questions-on-dating-with-matt-chandler
• http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/things-its-ok-feel-when-youre-single   - great empathy, written by Paul Maxwell, for those of us who receive much advice... he also well describes the distrust and disdain we singles sometimes receive from others.
• http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/  and http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed-qa/  - Thomas Umstattd's infamous and very thought-provoking posts from August 2014, which he is now turning into a book “Courtship in Crisis”, available June 2015... it's mostly about the cons of courtship and the pros of the older methods of dating, so it's more focused on "methods" than on "fundamental underlying principles and rationales."  But he describes the pros and cons of courtship very vividly.
• A set of excellent articles by Elisabeth Adams about singleness: http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2013/odd-man-out  and  http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2012/whats-a-guy-to-do   and http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2015/when-i-fear-the-future
• http://goodguyswag.com/how-to-pray-for-your-future-wife/
• https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-8-practical-advice-singles-1-corinthians-7
• http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2015/02/kissing-sex-jesus-flavored-bubblegum/ a more recent post by Thomas Umstattd, about the gospel, purity, sex, etc.
• http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/when-the-not-yet-married-meet-dating-to-display-jesus  - some tips on dating from a single man - somewhat oversimplified, but might be helpful.
• Set of 3 articles on dating in USA, from World Magazine: http://www.worldmag.com/2011/05/christian_boy_meets_christian_girl   http://www.worldmag.com/2011/05/a_man_s_world   http://www.worldmag.com/2011/05/refocused
• My articles:  http://tim223.xanga.com/2009/10/25/555/  - "my thoughts about relationships with girls" AND "tactics I've found helpful" , http://tim223.xanga.com/2009/04/20/things-i-learned-from-my-first-and-only-romantic-relationship/ , http://tim223.xanga.com/2007/07/06/788/  - links about courtship, http://tim223.xanga.com/2010/06/08/702/  - this one is more about church life than about dating, but slightly relevant

"The only love that won’t disappoint you is one that can’t change, that can’t be lost, that is not based on the ups and downs of life or of how well you live. It is something that not even death can take away from you. God’s love is the only thing like that."

-- quote from Tim Keller's book "Walking with God through pain and suffering", http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/20-quotes-from-walking-with-god-through-pain-and-suffering

This is an interesting article about 'courtship'.  By 'interesting', I'm not saying I agree with it, nor that I disagree with it... it is simply 'interesting' for now...

http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/