Here are four recent book reviews.  (Visit this link for all my book reviews http://tim223.xanga.com/category/book-reviews/ )

The Art of Neighboring, by Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon
This is a great book, about reaching out to build friendships with neighbors, and ultimately show not only the love of Christ to them, but possibly also eventually share the specific message (gospel) of Christ with them too.  The book points out that we often don't know our neighbors.  It shares the importance of knowing them, and provides practical ideas for getting to know them.  It talks a lot about our attitude... loving, respectful, not arrogant (willing to ask/receive help from neighbors)...  How to overcome fear... etc.  It has a lot of stories from their own experiences in Denver. It also has good advice for relationships in general, such as their chapters on establishing boundaries, and forgiveness, and focusing on specific 'people of peace', etc.  Interesting ideas for group neighborhood fellowship: outdoor movie nights, picnics, block parties.  Recommended book!

True Love Dates, by Debra Fileta
This is a fairly typical Christian dating advice book.  It gives all the standard and common-sense (if sometimes cliche) Christian dating & relationships advice.  She organizes her points as follows: 1. Date inward (get to know yourself), 2. Date outward (get to know other people), and 3. Date upward (cultivate your relationship with Jesus Christ).  Point #1 was the most unusual... she recommends spending plenty of time, money, energy, effort, etc in getting to know oneself.  She has a section in chapter 12 called "Jesus can't be your boyfriend" in which she inveighs against the commonly-given Christian advice that Jesus ought to satisfy all romantic longings.  However, she tends to get very close to doling out that same advice herself, in many places.  It is a hard line to walk correctly, because she's right - God did design most people for marriage relationships, but marriage will never ultimately satisfy.  Overall I partially recommend this book... it is fairly good and might be helpful to some people, especially those who have not read other Christian relationship books.

Rid of My Disgrace, by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
This book is about sexual assault, and in particular a Christian counseling response to it.  It starts by giving stats/etc about sexual assault (and helping victims to name/recognize it for what it was), then spends several chapters talking about the shame, guilt, disgrace, etc that victims usually feel, including real life stories.  Then there are some chapters at the end about God's grace as shown in the Old Testament and New Testament.  Overall this is a good, balanced, book (including both the psychological/counseling perspective and the Biblical perspective).  I think this might be worth using as a discussion starter in counseling someone who has been hurt.  Here's an excerpt from the chapter called "Mandy's Story."  " [7 years afterward]....I began to see the fullness of the evil done against me.  Progressively, as the magnitude of the evil grew in my awareness, it was amazing for me to realize that God is even bigger. .... Following Him through that dark valley and resting in His real promises rather than my own ideas became the true healing that I needed.  I came to know the true God, sovereign over all, who is ultimately good.  And I was his daughter, cherished and loved by him even in the midst of being raped.  When I reached that point, my heart was soft toward God, and I asked him what else he had for me.  I remember driving to work saying, "Is there more, here?" And that's when it hit me.  I saw their faces.  I saw the men who raped me and felt a surprising compassion towards them.  I began to cry out for them, "God save them." Just as I was an enemy of God in need of reconciliation, so they need to be reconciled by the blood of Christ.  I wept for them for quite a while and still often find myself tearing up on their behalf, wishing that I could see them face-to-face and tell them of a great God who is bigger than their harmful acts of violence, who loves them to the point of crushing his own Son to deliver them from death.  This forgiveness was a miracle.  I have found freedom in loving them with the love of Christ.  My anger, bitterness, resentment, escape, numbness, denial, self-pity, or any other response is not capable of removing their sin.  Nothing but the blood of Christ will pay their debt.  And so I can look back on that night, recognizing the fullness of the pain God counted me worthy to suffer, and also to look on it with the joy of knowing my God in a more intimate and magnificent way.  It has become a mark of God's help in my life, a place where he ordained healing for me ......."

Shame Interrupted, by Edward Welch
This is a fascinating book.  It is a thorough, 300-page, study of shame (and honor & healing).  What is shame?  (there are several types... due to our sin or due to our weakness/inadequacy... foisted upon us by others or imposed upon ourselves... etc)  Why do we feel it?  What are the sources?  And especially, how did/does God address and 'interrupt' and heal our shame, in various different ways, throughout the Bible?  Very unusual book in terms of writing style, but worth reading, perhaps even studying in a group together.  It is not just for counselors or counselees... I think everyone could benefit.
Quote: (p. 151-2)
"You have known fractures and enmity in relationships, and sometimes you feel helpless to do anything about them.  At other times you don't want to do anything about them.  But if you have known God's power in such a way that you, an outcast, have been accepted, you will want to invite others to peace with God and peace with other people.
"Peacemakers renounce violence and vigilante strategies. They renounce them even at the level of their imaginations. They don't wish evil on others in private but play nice in public.  It sounds impossible, especially if you have had an enemy.  But it makes complete sense when you remember that you were an outsider and an enemy when Jesus brought you in and said, "Peace to you."
"How you actually function as a peacemaker is not always easy to determine.  But we know this: shamed people feel powerless, and what could be more powerful than being an agent of peace in the midst of war?  What could be more powerful than disarming someone with love?  Peacemaking is, indeed, an honorable profession.
"If anyone knows shame, it is the wife of a cocaine addict. Her husband chose a drug over her. A drug - not even another human being. Now add the accessories of betrayal- the lies, empty promises, lost jobs, mysterious disappearances of her jewelry, all done in full view of family and friends. Peace seemed impossible, but she knew God's peace and she always looked for opportunities to express it.
"After a few months of his sobriety, she had a sense that he had gotten high, so she asked him about it.  Apparently, he had made some changes because this time he told her the truth, even though he knew it might cost him what was left of his marriage. 
"He could never have predicted her response: 'What will we do about this?'
"'We!' Peacemakers pursue unity in relationships. They think in terms of 'we', not only 'you.'
"It was the last time he got high, and that was ten years ago.
"Peacemaking is a powerful and honorable profession, indeed.
"Yet peacemakers are not always successful. Neither peacemaking in general nor a kingdom lifestyle in general will always win you points with others. In other words, the way of honor is not by expert peacemaking but by being connected to the King.  ......."

This section of Scripture provides a fascinating answer.  My comments are below.

Matthew 20:1-16
"For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.
When he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius for the day, he sent them into his vineyard.
And he went out about the third hour and saw others standing idle in the market place; and to those he said, 'You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.' And so they went.
Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did the same thing.
And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, 'Why have you been standing here idle all day long?'
They said to him, 'Because no one hired us.' He said to them, 'You go into the vineyard too.'
When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last group to the first.'
When those hired about the eleventh hour came, each one received a denarius.
When those hired first came, they thought that they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius.
When they received it, they grumbled at the landowner, saying, 'These last men have worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the scorching heat of the day.'
But he answered and said to one of them, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for a denarius?
'Take what is yours and go, but I wish to give to this last man the same as to you.
'Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?'
So the last shall be first, and the first last."

 
According to Jesus, God is not "fair"... He is far more generous than that.

On Judgment Day, no one will be able to accuse God of treating them worse than they deserve.  But millions of us will attest that God has treated us far better than we deserve!

(Visit this link for all my book reviews http://tim223.xanga.com/category/book-reviews/ )

Why God Calls Us To Dangerous Places, by Kate McCord
This is a beautiful, thought-provoking book, interwoven with stories from her experiences of 9 years in Afghanistan.  Why do we go (or support those who go)?  Primarily, because God loves those people, and His love begins to transform us so that we begin to love them too.  She has great insights about loss, PTSD, ministry burnout, etc... great insights on how to rest in God and be at peace when all around you comes crashing down, when your friends die (or are murdered), when you are threatened, etc.  When terrorists plot to attack us and do attack us, may our heart be that described in this book.  So far opposite from "let's nuke them all", let our heart instead be, "Who will go to tell them about the love of Jesus?"  See also my previous review of her (excellent) book "In the Land of Blue Burqas".

The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
You've probably heard of this book, even if you haven't read it.  I finally got around to reading it.  I was afraid that it was going to be oversimplistic... but it was not.  His main point is that people experience 'feeling loved' in very different ways (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch), and that husbands and wives need to learn how to speak the other's love language.  He explains how he 'discovered' each one by various conversations with his clients (he is a professional counselor).  He includes lots of stories, including about those whose marriages were falling apart.  He is a Christian, but keeps most of the book 'generic' and secular... until the last chapter or so, when he explains about Christ's love.  Excellent, worth reading, overall.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
This is the true story of how a very liberal and atheistic woman found Christ.  She explains her journey into identifying as a lesbian, and her journey to become an English professor at Syracuse University, teaching Gay and Lesbian Studies.  She happened to become connected with a caring Christian, who took the time to invite her to dialog regularly about matters of faith over dinner with himself and his wife.  Through this friendship, she reevaluated Christ and the Bible, and eventually came to believe in Christ.  This began to massively change her lifestyle, as she chronicles.  Later in her life, she became married, became an adoptive/foster mom, and homeschooled her children.  This is a beautiful, well-written, testimony... well worth reading.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, by Patricia Evans
This book discusses relationships (primarily husband-wife) where one person (typically, but not always, the husband) verbally abuses the other person.  Most of the book is focused on description (and true stories).  She categories all people as holding to either a "Power-over" mindset or a "Personal power" mindset, which is rather simplistic, but there is some value in the distinction.  (The "Power-over" mindset perfectly describe the consequences of the Fall that the Bible discusses in Genesis 3:16.)  Chapter 11 and 12 have some great, helpful, advice on how to respond to abuse in a way that will hopefully cause the abuser to notice the problem and begin to change.  Basically, 'set limits'/'boundaries' in your own mind before the abuse happens (for example, 'I will not allow him to yell at me', or 'I will not allow him to demean me'), and then if it happens, respond forcefully 'Cut it out', or 'I will not accept that sort of speech', or, walk away.  In cases of physical abuse, of course, flee.  Chapter 13 on recovery is also good.  Convicting for all to read, and helpful if (/when) we have friends going through this type of marital stress, to be able to provide support and counsel.  Worth reading (or at least skimming, chapters 1, 11, 12, 13).  However, sadly, it is completely secular... so unable to discuss the powerful wisdom from Ephesians, etc.  Eggerichs' "Love and Respect" is more helpful in this area, and also even "For Men Only"/"For Women Only" by the Feldhahns (even though the latter mostly restrains itself to secular points).

And the Word Came With Power, by Joanne Shetler and Patricia Purvis
Powerful true story(ies) of how the Bible was translated for the Balangao people in the Philippines.  She shares many stories from her life there.  Especially powerful were all the times when God brought about events that she thought were catastrophic, but actually turned out for the best.  She prayed for the salvation of her host family for a LONG time, and nothing happened.  But eventually, they became believers in Jesus, and became powerful proponents of the gospel.  Also fascinating to hear about the confrontations between the evil spirits and the Spirit of God in the Christians.  Highly recommended book.

The Post-Church Christian: dealing with the generational baggage of our faith, by J. Paul Nyquist and Carson Nyquist
This book very well exposes and airs the reactionary complaints that millenials have against the 'institutionalized', 'tradition-bound', 'organized-religion', 'overprotective', 'cultural-christianity', 'anti-homosexual', 'judgmental', 'overly-political', 'hypocritical', Church (as they consider it).
Unfortunately, the response that J.Paul Nyquist tries to give to his son is rather weak.  He basically says 'try to be understanding to us (the older Christians), give us the benefit of the doubt, cut us some slack, understand our historical context'.  But our response should be to go back to Jesus, that iconoclastic, 'have you never read the scriptures' Man.
Typical paragraph from the book: "Thirty years ago, the American evangelical church member would never dream of being caught in a bar. Today, churches are being planted there. Amid the social environment found in pubs, we see opportunities to express the hope of Christ to those who enjoy a pint as they talk about life."
Their main takeaway points: don't give up on the church.  Increase authenticity, yes, sure, fine.  Remove excessive linkages between "God and country", sure.  Remove unbiblical legalism, yes by all means.  But don't throw out the Church - it has an important God-given function.   With this point, I agree.

You and Me Forever, by Francis and Lisa Chan
The Chans discuss marriage in this book, but first, they discuss putting Jesus at the center and top priority of one's life.  That is their main point... to stop focusing so much on marriage or singleness, and focus more on the kingdom of God in whatever station of life.  Since they are themselves married, it comes across as slightly tone-deaf to the struggles singles have, however, their bracing 'focus on Jesus'/'put His kingdom first' message is important and needed and overall Biblical.  They make much of Paul's instructions in 1 Cor. 7, and other passages.  They also generally live out what they preach, enhancing their message's impact.  Good book, a little strident at times, but worth reading and pondering.

Seven Marks of a New Testament Church, by David Alan Black
Excellent short book (only 50 pages).  He talks about these "7 marks"- Evangelistic preaching, Christian baptism, apostolic teaching, genuine relationships, Christ-centered gatherings, fervent prayer, sacrificial living, based on Acts 2.

Tactics, by Gregory Koukl
Excellent book.  When people hear of 'tactics' in the context of apologetics, most millenials are turned off because they assume it's about manipulation and argumentation, which they want to avoid.  Instead, Koukl presents ways of using questions to turn around conversations that start out with someone asking you a hostile question related to your faith, so that you can expose the deeper beliefs underlying the question, and move into a respectful, healthy, dialog.  This book is worth reading over and over, and practicing its contents, not for the purpose of manipulation, but for the sake of truly loving our neighbors, and helping them find out the awesome truth about Jesus.

From Heaven He Came and Sought Her
This book is a collection of essays about Particular Atonement ("Limited Atonement").  It thoroughly covers the historical views of the Church in the past centuries, and then gets into the Scriptural/theological discussion.  It's a tough, slow, closely-reasoned read, but worth slogging through.

The Genesis Account, by Jonathan Safarti
This is a scientific and theological commentary on Genesis 1-11.  It is a very thorough, even, solid, well-documented, well-reasoned, and objective commentary.  As a reference book, it's not for light reading (some of Sarfati's other books like "Refuting Evolution" or "Refuting Compromise" are easier to read), but it's well worth slowly reading.  It covers all the major scientific evidences for/against various age theories of the earth and evolution, and all the current and past hermeneutical interpretations of Genesis 1-11.  Excellent.

Cold Case Christianity, A Homicide Detective Investigates The Claims of the Gospels, by J. Warner Wallace
This is an awesome book.  It focuses on whether the gospel accounts (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) about Jesus are accurate or not.  The author was an atheist until his thirties, and a homicide detective who specialized in solving cold cases (unsolved crimes from decades past).  When he began to investigate the gospel accounts, he realized that they have all the marks of true eyewitness accounts.  This book covers the same historical facts as many other apologetics books (Josh McDowell, etc), but is extremely well-written, and with a fresh perspective.

Debating Darwin's Doubt, edited by David Klinghoffer
This book is basically a collection of online articles written as back-and-forth debate followup to Steven Meyer's "Darwin's Doubt".  It discusses the major objections of all the critics, and offers rebuttal.  It is a little hard to read, and a little repetitive, but overall a good, very solid and thorough, rebuttal of the critics' arguments and confirmation that Meyer's basic point was correct: the sudden appearance of Cambrian animals in the fossil layer cannot be explained through Darwinian/neoDarwinian evolution, nor through any other non-intelligent materialistic causes.  An Intelligent Designer is the proper inference to the Cambrian fossil record.

(warning - spoilers below - you might want to watch the movie first before reading)

I really liked Star Wars episode VII "The Force Awakens"... I thought it was the best of the series so far.  However, some of the worldview implications were sad (though definitely thought-provoking).  Here are 3 things I noticed: one good, two bad.  (One additional point that I might write about some time are the extreme feminist characterization of Rey...)

 
1. Stormtroopers can be saved too
I liked the plot twist of having stormtrooper "Finn" end up deciding that he's going to leave the First Order, despite growing up loyal to it.  Basically, before this point in the Star Wars saga, stormtroopers were always bad, all the time.  They were 'one-dimensional'.  The idea of a stormtrooper with a conscience, and a choice to decide whether he's going to follow a commander he thinks is gratuitously evil, is an idea that is powerful (think modern bogeymen, like ISIS terrorists...? There is good in all of us, and evil in all of us) and realistic (all of us DO in fact have a conscience and moral choice, implanted in us by God, our Creator.  I see this plot twist as saying, no one is too evil to be redeemed... those who repent can be forgiven and have a new life, regardless of their past...  (cf. my note about Orcs in the Tolkien world... http://tim223.xanga.com/2015/01/05/the-orc-that-nobody-wanted/  )

 
2. "The Force" tries to imply that You (human) are ultimately the most powerful being (in the Star-Wars world, and beyond) (unfortunately this common and comfortable narrative is false...)

The Force obviously plays an important role in the Star Wars story.  This concept of an impersonal mysterious force created-by and permeating all of life pulls ideas from a range of eastern and pagan religions (but is not identical to any of them, to my knowledge).

One reason the Force is so interesting is that it taps into something we are already familiar with in daily life - the "religious" or "sacred".  For example, Han Solo (in the original films) or Rey asked skeptical questions of their elders about whether the Force is real or just a hocus-pocus fable - this dialog is a common theme in our polarized religious/secular world.  Phrases from the movies like "May the Force be with you" and "The Force will be with you, always" are obvious allusions to the Bible (with the Force as a replacement for God), and Rey's "religious experience moment" near the end of SW7 seeks to glorify the Force (it saves her, as she remembers it, rests in it and then utilizes it...)  George Lucas has explained that one of his deliberate aims in adding the Force to the movies is to stimulate a sense of spirituality in young viewers.

(Side tangent #1 - I've often wondered why the characters in the story who sometimes use the Force to do amazing (paranormal/supernatural) feats can't utilize those powers more often... why can they only pull it out once in a while?  There are probably two explanations: in the story world, they simply forget about the Force (and remember in the nick of time), whereas in the movie-making world, it would make the story too simplistic if the heros simply used the Force all the time.)

But interestingly, the Star Wars "Force" is actually instead directly analogous to spiritism and the occult, not the God of the Bible.  How so?  In the story, the key aspect of the Force is that you can control it, or channel it, to do your bidding.  Granted, there are certain individuals in the story which are more "sensitive" to the Force than others (e.g. the Skywalkers, Rey, Palpatine, etc), but in principle it's just a matter of mastering certain techniques to make the Force do what you want it to do.  The Force never disobeys, it only obeys you to a greater or lesser extent.

Similarly, the occult (evil spirits) in our real world provides real supernatural powers to those who surrender their lives to it.  This is connected with what might be called the "universal religion" - all spiritistic or theistic religions (other than Christianity) provide a way to 'gain control over' the spirits and get what you want... or 'put the deity in your debt' so that you can get what you want. Hindus offer gifts to a particular goddess for prosperity, Catholics offer prayers to patron saints, animistic folk offer chickens to their idols, Shintoists offer gifts to their dead ancestors, and even materialistic cultures like the Chinese spend money on all kinds of good luck charms.  Americans holding to "moralistic therapeutic deism" (the dominant 'religion' in America) likewise tend to believe in a false prosperity gospel... 'give to the church, and God will bless me financially'... 'do good works, and God will let me into heaven'.

By contrast, when we pray to God (the Creator, the One True God, described in the Bible), there are no techniques for manipulating Him.  Unbelievers have no connection with Him... and as for us, His children (Christians), we can submit our requests to Him, but He will answer or not answer depending on what He knows is best for us, because of His love for us.  He cannot be tamed or manipulated.

(Side tangent #2 - I suspect that we are being "set-up" for some upcoming supernatural demonstrations, when the Great Imposter (the Antichrist) arrives... As Jesus predicted: Matthew 24:24 "For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect...."  (not that the movie creators are doing this consciously, but the spiritual forces influencing the world may be doing this... imagine what you would think if you saw supernatural powers (like in the movies) being displayed in broad daylight in our world?  Like this, except real? https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=999277153464049  )

(Side tangent #3 - I've been realizing what a large percentage of our modern cinematographic heros are in the same exact story position as ancient gods (Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Babylonian, etc).  Basically, they have superpowers of some kind (supernatural powers), but other than that they are human... they have all the same foibles, lusts, arguments, indulgences, etc.  They are mere "larger-than-life" men/women.  They are on a 'continuum', so to speak... as in the Mormon doctrine "...as God is now, man may be."
This includes Star-Wars Jedi & Sith, X-men, all the Marvel/DC comics - Batman, Superman, Captain America, Thor (perfect fit), IronMan, etc.
(It also includes Tolkien's characters, like Gandalf, Sauron, Elrond, Galadriel, etc... Each of these in Tolkien's saga have "personal power" of greater or lesser degrees.  In Tolkien's saga, there is at least a "God", Illuvatar, who started the universe, but then he never again gets directly and personally involved... so there is a dim step toward accuracy, but not clear.  In the other superhero movies, "God" is eliminated - he is viewed as irrelevant, and mankind's only hope is the various "demigods" such as Superman, Luke Skywalker, etc.)
I think this trend is deliberate... perhaps not on the part of the moviemakers, but on the part of the evil spiritual forces that are constantly trying to pull and push the world and all its humans away from God the Creator.  The same pagan metanarrative keeps popping up, generation after generation: "You don't need God, instead, you yourself can be the supreme power.")

The Star Wars concept of the Force fits perfectly into this narrative which is so comfortable to us as fallen sinful humans... it reassures us that WE are in control... "I am master of my own fate".

However, this is a lie.  God is in control, and we are not Him.  My point is not merely that the Biblical worldview is different than the Star Wars worldview, or that the Force doesn't exist in the real world.  Instead, I am making the case that all religions other than Christianity seek to put man at the center (in the position of control), and that not only does the actual world we live in correspond to a different order (God, not man, is in control), but that it is BETTER this way... that God OUGHT to be in control... that if there was no God and we were really in control, we would royally mess things up.

 
3. "History is cyclic", says Star Wars (and many other epics)

My final point is that in the Star Wars world (as in eastern religions), there is no end to the historical cycle of good and evil.  After each movie's (or set of 3 movies') finale, it seems that "good has triumphed"... but we know it is not permanent.  Evil will always arise again, in some other form.

(Side tangent #4 - Tolkien's LOTR shows the same - the world keeps groaning on, and the happy moments of triumph (Sauron/Morgoth finally defeated, Aragorn finally crowned king) are followed by more pain and sorrow (Arwen loses immortality, then Aragorn dies, then Arwen dies... and even those who go to the Gray Havens, while they get a little peace, end up living with the escapist and callous Valar.... evil is never permanently removed, only put into remission for a while, only to break out again.)

In Star Wars, even the Force, whose 'imbalance' is supposedly connected with the pain and suffering inflicted by those (Sith, Empire, First Order, etc) utilizing the 'dark side of the Force', does not draw toward a conclusion of perfect, permanent, goodness and happiness... but instead toward "balance".  Balance between good and evil?  Unfortunately, yes.

Consider how much more beautiful (not to mention the fact that it's also true!) is the Biblical view - that history is linear... it had a (beautiful) beginning, it was marred in Genesis 3 (the Fall) by sin and the subsequent legacy of pain and death, and it is headed toward an awesomely beautiful ending.

In heaven, there will be no more rebellion.  No more cancer.  No more death.  That is to say, in this world, our world, the real world, the final "End" (which is the beginning of many good and better things) puts a complete end to sin, death, evil, corruption, pain, etc.  To those who might complain that this is boring, please read this: http://tim223.xanga.com/2015/08/13/do-you-really-want-to-live-with-him-forever/

Conclusion

Hooray!  We really do live in the best of all possible worlds.  When I see films like Star Wars, on the surface level (entertainment) I enjoy them.  Great storytelling, great acting, great cinematography.  On the deeper level I loathe the dismal alternate hypothesis they suggest... and I find renewed delight that the actual state of affairs (described in the Bible) is so much better.

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-only-fomo-to-fear

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/hope-beyond-the-heavy-burdens-you-carry

Here are some more recent book reviews.  For more of my reviews, see here http://tim223.xanga.com/category/book-reviews/

• The Dating Manifesto, by Lisa Anderson  - I was somewhat disappointed in this book, but I think my expectations were too high.  Most of her advice is relatively good, common-sense advice.  However, there is very little that is new in here.  It is more like a 'rant', to be honest, although one with reasonable advice, overall.  Advice like 'stop seeking THE ONE', 'give some trusted friends veto power over your relationships', the importance of getting off the couch watching TV in the basement and growing up / becoming more mature / getting involved in the church, etc.
  Having recently read (and reviewed) Thomas Umstattd's book about dating which came out the same day (August 1, 2015), I was interested to hear the advice from a single female perspective. Lisa Anderson is 43, and has worked at the Christian singles magazine "Boundless" (part of Focus on the Family) for many years.
  Her writing style is to point out extremes on two sides, and rail against them with witty language.  "Don't be like THIS, but on the other hand don't be like THIS either."  Unfortunately, I did not find this helpful, because everyone knows to avoid those extremes.  I was looking for info that was practical, that I could use in my own life.
  Sometimes her advice seems to be contradictory.  For example, in one place she writes:

"I'm always puzzled by guys who say they're waiting for God to bring their wives to them, or at the very least they're waiting for God to point them out.  Um, when did that ever happen in the Bible, except maybe for Adam?  In the stories I read, men are going to wells to find their wives or they're enlisting family members to assist in the search or they're letting women glean in their fields after discerning their reputation and marriageability. ... Your search needs to begin with a healthy amount of prayer to align your attitudes and expectations.  Then you figure out who's in your circle.  Because that's the most logical place to start.  Observe the habits and character of the single women you know.  Interact with them if you can, whether in class, at church functions, volunteer opportunities, or whatever.  You don't need their complete history, just an idea of what they're about.  Remeber, you date to find out the rest.  Then the simple but hard part: ask one girl out.  Just do it."

But on the other hand, she wrote in another place:

"One other word for both men and women on the matter of friendship: I hear many singles, primarily those who are in mixed-gender groups that socialize a lot together, say that they are hesitant to date folks in their sphere of acquaintance because they don't want to ruin the friendship.  This is so lame.  By the time you're out of college, your opposite-sex friend group should be dwindling.  Because, quite frankly, you don't have time to invest in all those people.  Furthermore, if you're afraid to risk dating one or more of those friends because you fear things becoming awkward if it doesn't work out, you're eliminating a highly eligible pool of dateable people.  Do you really need all those opposite-sex friends?  Nope.  If you're marriage-minded, what you need (and want), is a spouse.  So don't make those friendships a priority.  If you do, you'll be ten years down the road with an unwieldy gaggle of friends but no spouse in sight."

Of course, one could justify each of those passages, explaining how each one fits different circumstances.  But it seems to me that they directly conflict with each other.  How do you begin by looking for someone "in your circle", if you don't spend time building the circle of friendships in the first place?  On the other hand, what if you invest energy in building a circle of friends of both sexes, but still don't find in your circle a person of the opposite sex that you want to marry?

I would say, "keep building the circle bigger."  I suspect Lisa might agree, since in Chapter 10 she talks about all the time she pours into her friend circle.

On the topic of compatibility, she writes that men's standards for physical beauty/appearance of a potential wife are too high.  She cites approvingly articles by Scott Croft (such as "Brother, You're Like a Six") that tell guys that they should build friendships or dating relationships with godly girls that they are not physically attracted to, and then (implies Scott) they will gradually come to find the girl attractive enough to marry.
(I tend to disagree... Perhaps she's right about 'men in general', but I certainly wouldn't want her telling me that I have acted inappropriately regarding the particular women in my circle whom I have decided not to pursue because I'm not attracted to them.  It's nothing against those women.  I have extremely high respect for some of my godly female friends whom I am not attracted to.  However, I don't think I should try to marry them if I am not attracted to them.  Perhaps some other man will find them perfectly attractive.)  In another place, she writes:
"What else needs to happen in your search?  Well, you need to start paring down your marriage "must-haves" list.  Whether it has fifty or five hundred items on it, you need to get it down to about five.  They are:
*Is a true disciple of Jesus (someone in whom you see evidence of real Gospel transformation as outlined in the Bible)
*Is actively growing in his or her faith (no long-term stagnation or stall-outs)
*Is in a position to marry (time to get that job, guys!)
*Is humble and teachable
*Is someone who has a similar calling or whose calling you can join"

Two items missing from Lisa's list, which I think are profoundly important, are (6) physical attractiveness (to me) and (7) personality compatibility / chemistry / natural friendship affinity / shared interests.  There are gazillions of single Christian women I know who fit Lisa's five points, but don't fit my two additions, and hence I am still single.

Other items:
- I agree with her critiques of online dating.
- I agree with much of her advice to married people on how to help singles
- I agree with her point "it's ok to grieve", the chapter about the difficulties of being an older Christian single
- I strongly agree with her point of "Trust God" and His sovereignty (Chapter 11 and other places).  God is wise and loving.  He knows what we need, and will providentially provide it at the right time.

• The Meaning of Marriage, by Tim (and Kathy) Keller - Excellent book! Top quality (as are all TK books I've read), highly recommended.  He discusses many aspects of marriage (from his sermons preached for his church which has hundreds of singles, in NYC).  He shares candid stories of moments from his own marriage.  In particular, he discusses how to handle conflicts, how to avoid idolatry, etc.  It's written with lots of explanatory and persuasive text for the unbelieving reader, i.e. why is marriage better than cohabitation, etc... so while TK does quote the Bible, he also quotes lots of secular sources.  He reasons as if he was dialoging with secular philosophers about marriage, sometimes. So this book would be good reading for a nonChristian also.
  My favorite aspect of this book is how TK keeps bringing every topic back around to showcase the value of Christ... often at the end of each chapter.

• Beautifully Flawed, by Shari Rigby - Powerful, great, book.  She shares her life story, of how she experienced many painful relationships, seeking for love in the wrong places... and then eventually came to know God.  Shari is the actor who played "Cindy Hastings" in the movie "October Baby", the birth mother of the main character who had the abortion, and then was later forgiven by the main character.  Shari herself had an abortion at one point in her life. The point Shari makes at the end of her book is that God can redeem anyone... and that the mistakes and flaws in our lives are part of the story that God is weaving.
  Extended quote from her final book chapter:
  "As my journey continued and I rededicated my life to Christ, my story began to take on a new shape... I now wanted to grab ahold of each person I met and tell them, 'You can be loved and cherished.  You have a purpose. You are worthy, beautiful, unique, and different all at the same time because you were purposefully created by a Savior that loves you!'
  "Our Savior is a man who came to die for us, to leave His words of truth, to tell the story of a real leading man, an example for other men to follow, who treats women like the leading ladies they are.
  "Just as a roller coaster has many ups and downs, twists and turns, so has the pathway of my life.  Even when it seemed like I was about to fly off the tracks, I was given another chance to get back on the straight and narrow, to make better choices and continue on with purpose.
  "I began to identify myself as a leading lady to the Lord, and I'm so thankful He never gave up on me. Instead He continued to pursue me as a gentleman, allowing me to come to Him in my time, to eventually love Him with all my heart.  He redeemed me and showed me what real love looks like.
  "As I end this book, I want you to know that no matter what has happened in your life, you can still get out of the boat, walk in freedom, and carry out the unique purpose you were created for."

• The Gospel's Power and Message, by Paul Washer
  This book is basically a polemic against various forms of "shallow evangelical presentation of the gospel".  Paul carefully and step-by-step discusses different aspects of the gospel, quoting a lot of Scripture.  He emphasizes man's sinfulness, God's wrath against sin, and also discusses the other more commonly heard aspects such as God's love.  He correctly distinguishes between justification and sanctification, and presents the 'balanced' position of Reformed/Lordship Salvation while at the same time not neglecting the necessity of faith ("saving faith") on the part of the saved sinner.  He writes that justification is by faith alone (not of works in the slightest), yet at the same time, true faith will always produce works.  Basically, this book has a lot of excellent doctrinal thought.
  Unfortunately, it has a rather judgmental tone, lamenting on almost every page that 'too many preachers ignore this' or 'few churches mention this any more.'  If these statements could be removed, this book would be easier to read and would have a more powerful and unalloyed message.

Let me know if you have thoughts on these things!

Sometimes you may have heard this sentiment:

 "I'm not really sure that I would want to live FOREVER in heaven with God.  Life up there with Him would get boring.  Supposedly God is 100% good.  Well, sometimes I like to hang out with people who are a little bit 'naughty'.  It's more fun to hang out with people like that, rather than people who are wholly 'good'.  Living forever with a completely 'good' God? Sounds boring to me."

I had a thought today in response to this.  The "naughtiness" mentioned can actually be explained as two separate factors: NOVELTY, and EVIL.

That is, when you're hanging out with a 'naughty' friend because you like the excitement and stimulation of their company, and the friend proposes a naughty endeavor (e.g. "let's go downtown and smash some windows"), there is a NOVELTY factor ("wow, I've never smashed windows before"), and there is an EVIL factor ("let's pleasure ourselves by hurting someone else or breaking their property").

It turns out that NOVELTY is good... God created us humans to enjoy novelty... trying new recipes, creating new poems, novels, songs, dances, etc... building beautiful new woodworking artifacts, new pottery, new paintings, etc... new electronic devices, etc.  God Himself is extremely creative in this regard... in fact, He is the most creative person in the universe.  Think of the most exciting, fun, creative, humorous, witty, energetic, scintillating people you know.  God designed those people.

Life with God in heaven forever is life lived with the most interesting Person in the universe, whose track record is one of dreaming up amazing, new, creative, delicious, surprises, and who shows every sign of continuing to innovate in the future.

On the other hand, EVIL is in getting pleasure out of hurting someone else, or corrupting or breaking something.... not merely in using something in an inappropriate way (that is partly EVIL and partly NOVEL/CREATIVE), but in essence, the delighting-in, the savoring-of, causing pain and harm and damage to another.

It turns out that God has no evil streak in Him.  He is completely, 100%, good.  As the Bible says, "God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all."

Life lived forever with a "naughty" friend would be one with all creative powers bent more and more increasingly toward hurting other people more and more.  As should be obvious, this would eventually cease to be fun.

But life lived with God in heaven will be one lived in enjoying and learning from His creativity, and appreciating His goodness more and more.  "God is love", and that word "love" ("agape" in Greek) signifies putting the other person's interest ahead of one's own.  So life in heaven will be one in which God is constantly thinking of new ways to bless us, and we are constantly enjoying His blessings with gratitude, reciprocating and learning to excel in new ways to glorify and thank Him, and so on and on, 'higher up and further in'.

Down here, our best human heights of creativity are marred by feelings of envy, jealousy, regret, etc.  Up there, no more limits.  Down here, death eventually stops the best artisans from pursuing their crafts.  Up there, infinite time.  Down here, we get lazy in pursuing our craft.  Up there, infinite motivation, learning from and working with God...  "work", no longer in the sense of Monday morning "do I have to go to work", but in infinite delight and joy...

Here are some books read over the past year or so... For more of my reviews, see here http://tim223.xanga.com/category/book-reviews/

Courtship in Crisis: the case for traditional dating, by Thomas Umstattd, Jr. - (The following is written about a pre-publication copy that I had the privilege of reading) - This is a fascinating book.  He explains that he was excited by "courtship" when Joshua Harris' book "I kissed dating goodbye" came out in the 1990s (weren't we all), but explains some problems he encountered in his life with the courtship approach.  By contrast, his grandmother explained that in her generation, she was encouraged to date many guys in a casual (no sex) way, and this method apparently worked well for her generation.  In our generation, Umstaddt says, our "Modern Dating" approach has not worked well (marriage rates are falling and divorce rates are high).  Umstattd has some great thoughts in this book.  I think it's well worth reading, for everyone... supporters of courtship/betrothal, nonChristians who date for hookups only, and especially Christians who are desiring to follow Jesus in purity but who are confused about how to go about finding a spouse.

 
A Relentless Hope: Surviving the storm of teen depression, by Gary Nelson. - He shares the story of how his own son went through years of severe depression, anxiety, and anger (all the while while Gary was pastoring and counseling others).  He shares honestly about how tough it was, and some things he learned regarding how to parent a depressed child ("just keep loving them"), and some things that were helpful (Prozac, and also, focusing on fighting together with the child against "it" (depression)).  I don't necessarily agree with all of his parenting actions (I definitely disagree with the idea of letting your son sleep with his girlfriend), but who am I to judge?... and Nelson has definitely been through a lot bigger struggle in his situation than I have.  Some things can definitely be learned from this true story of his family's situation.  This story also resonates with me as some of my friends have faced the heartache of having a family member commit suicide.  How do you respond?  As a friend, quiet support and prayer would seem to be the best (not 'advice').  As a griever, (as Job in the Bible and as Tim Keller's book "Walking with God through pain and suffering" well discusses), at first we struggle with God and ask 'why', but eventually we are able to trust Him, even though we may never 'understand' (on this side of heaven).

 
Yawning at Tigers: You can't tame God, so stop trying, by Drew Dyck. - This is basically a book about God (in the same genre as "Knowing God" or "Crazy Love" or other books)... it makes the point that God is big and powerful and owes an apology for his actions to none of us (God is "transcendent")... and at the same time God cares about us and knows us individually (God is "immanent").  He shares about things he has learned from seminary and from time overseas in various countries (e.g. Albania).  His main point, that we should not underestimate God, is good, but the book itself is such a piecemeal, scattershot, postmodern-style, 10-different stories/anecdotes-per-page collection that it's hard to keep his main point in mind.  I suppose he would be a fascinating person to have a conversation with, but his book seems a bit disorganized.

 
Ordinary: sustainable faith in a radical, restless world, by Michael Horton - the theme of this book is that American Christians have tended to focus on "extraordinary", "novel", "transformative", "high-intensity", "experiential" aspects of the Christian life, whereas the life God wants us to live is stable, peaceful, and 'ordinary'... going to church regularly, building relationships with neighbors/coworkers/friends, reading our Bible every day, etc.  Horton complains that there is too much focus on "the one thing that you're missing in your Christian life", and not enough of the standard things, especially Christ himself.  The book is good, and that one point is well taken, although the book can get a bit repetitive and cliche and arguing against straw-men arguments sometimes.  It is, perhaps, a reaction against books by many authors (such as David Platt and Francis Chan) which are themselves reactions against the 'american dream' version of Christianity.. the prosperous life.  Horton emphasizes that discipleship is long-haul, line-upon-line, and that the Christian life should be one of contentment and walking with God daily.

 
United: Captured by God's Vision for Diversity, by Trillia J. Newbell - A personal account of how she (a black woman) grew up amid the pressures of racism in America, and came to Christ, and has since grown in her understanding of the ideal goal for which we Christians should be aiming in the area of racial diversity.  She explains that there were some personal friendships/relationships (with a Christian caucasian woman and a Christian chinese woman) that really helped her in many ways, so she makes the point that it is these individual relationships that are what is most helpful in overcoming racism in America. It is a great read overall.  She cites John Piper and his book "Bloodlines", and Thabeti Anyabwhile in his insistence that 'there is no such thing as race'.  It is a bit redundant... the latter half of Newbell's book is a bit repetitive from the former half of the book.  It is fascinating to me that she basically takes the exact opposite perspective as Michael Emerson (I previously reviewed his book, "Divided by Faith")... he says that although white evangelicals think that personal relationships will eventually fix the problems, he claims that NO, there are "systemic injustices" which must be fixed politically, and relationships won't fix that.  I think Newbell would say that the relationships would fix the systemic injustices, in time... and I agree with her...  Newbell also writes about "finding her identity in Christ rather than in her race," and overcoming certain feminist ideas...  which I think are some of the best parts of her book.  Good book overall, worth reading.

 
The Myth of Junk DNA, by Jonathan Wells - A short book showing how the evolutionary myth of "junk DNA" has hindered biology.  A bit technical occasionally, but overall written at a nice level for everyone, and worth reading!

 
The Mysterious Epigenome - Thomas Woodward and James Gills - This book attempts to convey the great discoveries of the past decade in the area of epigenetics (how acquired traits can be passed down directly from parents to children without going into the genome).  The book attempts to reach both young people and adults by using a "let's tour the cell in a submarine" analogy/story.  Unfortunately, it misses both demographics... the story is too advanced for children to understand, and the detail sidebars are too corny and surfacy for adults.  I hope this same material can be given a different treatment in a different book some day, to put the same content into a different, more readable style.  For example, the readable style of Stephen Meyer ("Darwin's Doubt", "Signature in the Cell") is much more accessible for all levels, although it is very wordy/verbose/lengthy.  But the book might be worth reading once, just because the epigenetics info is so fascinating.

 
The Spirit of the Disciplines, Richard Foster - This book discusses various spiritual disciplines (and the importance of them).  It's a good book, and it briefly touches on the big danger of spiritual disciplines (they can make people trust in the disciplines rather than in Christ for their justification!)... I wish it hit that message much harder and more repeatedly... that would make it a "safer" book for people to read.  There is a balance... between those who emphasize "free grace" and those who emphasize "spiritual disciplines"... I wish they would read each other's books...

 
The Finish Line, by D. Creson - a short book with stories and vignettes surrounding the acceleration of Bible translation, and the fact that within a few decades all the ethnic groups of the world might have the Bible in their own language... Jesus said "the gospel will be preached to all the nations (ethnic groups), and then the end will come", so this underscores that the end of the world is getting close.  It is an interesting, quick read.  Unfortunately, Wycliffe (who D. Creson works for) has capitulated in the area of creating Muslim-friendly Bible translations which replace "son of God" with other inaccurate terms, due to pressure from certain linguistic consultants.  I hope they change their ways so that we can support them again in the future.

 
The Insanity of Obedience, by Nik Ripken - a continuation of the story from his first book "The Insanity of God", but this book was not nearly as good because it often sounded so harsh, strident, and judgmental... i.e. the message seemed to be one of anger toward American Christians because they are living too-comfortable lives... rather than understanding that God calls different people to different ministries and our job is not to judge.

 
The Live Dead Journal, edited by Dick Brogden - a powerful collection of devotional readings and meditations, mostly by people who are missionaries to muslim areas of Africa.  Each devotional is powerful and challenging and thought provoking.  The title summarizes the message - we should live "dead" to our own desires, focused on Christ's kingdom.  Well worth reading multiple times. It can get a little preachy sometimes though, in a postmodern 'reactionary' kind of way.  It's worth reading at least once, and probably would be good for a discussion with other people.

 
God's Double Agent, by Bob Fu and Nancy French - Bob tells the fascinating story of how he grew up in communist China.  He was a very strong communist in college, organizing other students.  Then some events caused him to shift somewhat in his beliefs.  His girlfriend who became his wife was a strong influence on him over the years.  He happened to meet some Christians, and over a long time of studying, eventually came to Christ.  His life after that was much more difficult.  He escaped to the USA in 1997.  This is a great true story.  It has many moments of heartbreak.  It helped me understand Chinese struggles better... especially two aspects: the pressure to not disappoint one's parents (Bob's interaction with his amazing, loving, disabled, father is a thread of heartbreak throughout this book and similarly throughout many Chinese people's lives), and the pressures of Asian marriage (in particular, the tension between Bob's desire to help persecuted Christians, and the need to take care of and protect his own family... such as the pressure of having the phone often ring in the middle of the night with info about persecuted Christians needing help).  The good news is that the story is not finished... he is still alive and walking with Jesus, in Texas.

 
Babylon, by Peter Herder and Benji Nolot - This book examines what Revelation says about the wicked city, "Babylon"... it is not just a city, it is a world system... that started back in the Garden of Eden at the fall of man, and continues to break forth throughout history... in the modern days, as Revelation predicts, it is tied in with human trafficking and slavery.  This is a very unusual book in its style, but the basic points seem to be valid.  They make an interesting speculation at the end about whether the 'final Babylon' might be an actual physical city as a representative (they even suggest one city), or whether it refers to the whole anti-God world system.  Worth reading.

I saw this article today about how "pay now, consume later" can help people gain more happiness from their monetary spending. http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/05/can-money-buy-happiness-2/

Quote:

Delay can enhance the pleasure of consumption not only by providing an opportunity to develop positive expectations, but also by enhancing what we call the "drool factor."

I wonder if this is part of the reason God chose to rescue a group of us humans (the Church) but not take us to glory immediately. Instead, He waits some thousands of years, while the gospel spreads throughout the world, and more and more people hear about and believe the truth... while also experiencing persecution and hardship for their belief in Jesus Christ, in addition to the regular pains and sorrows of this broken world.

As we look forward to being with God forever, the waiting period ('the betrothal period' before our 'marriage' to Christ, so so speak) enhances the drool factor... and thus our eventual happiness.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith (more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire) may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9, ESV

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Revelation 21:1-4, ESV