The ten books currently in my main reading pile besides the Bible are: "Love and Respect", "For Men Only", "Becoming Conversant with the Emergent Church", "Don't Waste Your Life", "The Young Man in the Mirror", "The Reason for God", "Philosophy and the Christian Faith", "The Reliability of the Gospels", "George Mueller", and the Book of Mormon. Just because they're in my pile doesn't mean I read them frequently (ha! far from it actually), but some of the ideas on this blog are obviously stimulated by the things I read when I get a chance. The Bible is by far the most important book though... I recommend it more than all the others... the Bible is food, the others are condiments, or even silverware.
I have realized just tonight why I value my journal and my blog so much, and why I desire my closest friends to read them and to get to know my friends from previous places - it is because of two facts: I have changed a lot during the years of my life, and I have lived in several very different environments in my life - a version of 'rootlessness'. My journals and blogs (and photos and letters and other forms of history) form a sort of thread that ties together 'the real me' and help me (and potentially others) understand who I am in view of the entire collection of experiences and friends... I tend to believe (rightly or wrongly) that unless I or someone else grasp 'who I was', it is essentially impossible to understand 'who I am' right now, and 'who I am becoming'... and likewise I think the more one gets to know my true friends, the more one can understand me. If someone would view my journals and blogs and friends as 'secondary/accessories' and decides they're not worth the time to digest or get to know, I would feel that the person is not truly interested in getting to know me. That ought not change how I view/treat them, of course, in general...
Tonight reading "Love and Respect" - powerful and highly recommended... it's based on Ephesians 5:33, with thesis that husbands need respect and wives need love. I think I strongly agree, based on what I've seen. I don't know if I'll ever get to apply it. But what about singles? Does it not seem that single Christian men cannot / ought-not to direct the natural flow of their love / romantic feelings toward their single Christian sisters? (unless God is leading them to pursue marriage, of course) ...because that would easily tend to stir up feelings in the girls that would be difficult to repress... feelings that would risk 'leading them on' even accidentally, without meaning to. As the african proverb says, "If you are not interested in giving money to the beggar widow, do not ask her too many questions." What then to do with these? How ought single men to 'practice' loving their wives, as it were? Certainly not to direct this toward married women, that would be very foolish. It seems to me that these feelings and impulses must simply be buried, dumped, wasted. Not to say that God overlooks it, of course... all of our tears are saved in His bottle, and likewise with all of our romantic love. It's like a garden hose which has no 'off' valve, but has no garden to water. All it can do is pour onto the asphalt and down into the drain. But that's better than prematurely soaking the paper packets of seeds which are meant for other gardens. The energy of single people can of course be turned toward positive 'projects', as it is well known that churches benefit from the extra time and resources and energy of single men and women... and missionary endeavors to far lands, etc. To a limited degree the longing of single Christian men to lead and provide and the longing of single Christian women to care for and nurture others can be 'redirected' into small groups, others' families, etc. Yet somehow it doesn't seem that simple. If Christian single men need respect/significance and Christian single women need love/security, who can they legitimately get it from? From God, I suppose. Whom do they practice on? Ultimately no one, I suppose. Yet 'friendships' are obviously important.
There's the example of Jesus... single all his thirty-odd years on earth, yet somehow building a DEEP friendship with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, and others... especially Mary (John 11, etc)... while staying perfectly pure and sinless. How could he intentionally build/allow such a deep friendship, while somehow making it clear to her that he had no romantic intentions toward her? I wish I could watch His life in person. E.g. Paul with the many women friends he mentions, Dorcas (great name for an American girl), etc. May God give us all wisdom. As the Quran says, "May God lead us to the straight path."
One more thing - I heard this awesome analogy from Piper's lecture on John Newton the other day - Newton used it in one of his sermons.
Imagine if there was a man who had just been told (and verified with official documents) that he had inherited a HUGE fortune [think billions or trillions]. All of his financial needs and wants would basically be solved for the rest of his life. All he had to do was travel to a particular distant city to receive his inheritance. He traveled and traveled, and finally, just when he was getting within five miles of the city, a wheel on his carriage broke [or his car broke an axle or something].
Imagine how utterly ridiculous it would be if we saw that man cursing and muttering darkly to himself as he walked the rest of the way, upset at the fact that he had to walk to the city and get all hot and sweaty and tired. Or how utterly moronic we would think he was if he decided not to complete his trip because of the inconvenience!
Thus it is [says Newton] with our own situation (for those who are believers/disciples of Christ) - on our way to HEAVEN to live with GOD, FOREVER, joint heirs with Christ, bride of Christ, children of God, etc - when we encounter difficulties and sorrows and trials here...
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us... Romans 8:18
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials... 1 Peter 1:6
For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison... 2 Corinthians 4:17
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