counseling

  • waiting on God's promises

     

    1 Samuel 19 -

    "11 Then Saul sent messengers to David’s house to watch him, in order to put him to death in the morning. ....

    18 Now David fled and escaped and came to Samuel at Ramah, and told him all that Saul had done to him. And he and Samuel went and stayed in Naioth."

     

    Samuel was the one who had anointed David originally, with the message that he would be king of Israel some day (1 Samuel 16).   David believed God, and Samuel his prophet, and this probably helped him in his bold exploits like fighting Goliath, etc... it must have been pretty nifty to have a prophecy spoken over you that you would some day be king... if the prophecy came from a trustworthy spokesperson of God (since God knows the future), one could be certain that one would not die before becoming king, and that would tend to give one great boldness in battle and life in general.

    However, David's success as a soldier and general caused the existing king, Saul, to become envious of him and try to kill him, multiple times and over the course of many years  (1 Samuel 18ff).  David could have simply fought against Saul and captured the kingship.  But interestingly, he did not, though he repeatedly had "perfect opportunities" to do so, including twice sneaking up behind Saul when he had no protectors.  Instead, David kept running and hiding and fleeing, rather than fight against King Saul (who was also his father-in-law!).

    1 Samuel 24 relates one of these times, when David was close enough behind King Saul to secretly cut off a piece of his robe, without Saul even noticing.  David's men urged David to kill Saul.  But he refused, saying "I will not stretch out my hand against my lord, for he is the Lord’s anointed."  In other words, David resolved to wait until he could have the kingship "in the right way", rather than seizing it for himself "the wrong way" out of impatience.

    He believed (enough) in God's promise, such that he was content to wait, and wait, and wait.

    From whence came this faith/trust?

    Probably from many factors... but perhaps one of these factors was this brief meeting with Samuel in 1 Samuel 19:18.   David was telling Samuel.... "Remember, you anointed me the future king!?!? But then why is all this happening to me?  The king is trying to take my life!?  Where is God?  I try to follow God and do the right thing, and what do I get for it?  I'm on the run for my life.  My own king, the one I have served sincerely and faithfully, is trying to take me out.  Why?  What's the point of continuing this approach of 'waiting' and 'doing things the right way'??"

    What did Samuel tell David?  ...that old prophet, who had counseled and provided justice for thousands of Israelites over the years, who had originally anointed Saul and had seen Saul's heartbreaking perfidy and turning-away from God... then had anointed David but had not yet seen the fulfillment of his prophecy.

    His words are not recorded.  But he apparently listened to David, went with him on a trip to a town where he could be temporary safer, and gave him some powerful advice, which kept David on the path of walking with God for the next few months or years.  Many times in our lives too, the advice of an older godly person at the right moment can be extremely beneficial.   Maybe Samuel shared with David what he had seen in his own life, that God's answers to prayer are often very slow, but worth waiting for... and that God always keeps his promises.

  • foundation

    Interesting article about an veteran army psychologist who, after many years of counseling others through the stress and shock of wartime horrors, couldn't handle the stress in his own life any more.  http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130316/DA52C2OG1.html

    One phrase stood out to me as I was reading about his life - "He used irreverence as a balm."  

    And it didn't work.

     

    By contrast, Psalm 37 relates the thoughts of David, the Israelite warrior king of 3000 years ago, who took the opposite approach.  When he saw evil plots and atrocities, David reminded himself that the wicked seem to be winning for a short time, but God is real and will bring just judgement / retribution / restitution at the end of time, which is really the Beginning of the true life, the Kingdom of God.

    How to handle hearing about daily events of random horror and oppression?   Don't use the "balm of irreverence."  Instead,

     

    1 Do not fret because of those who are evil     or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither,     like green plants they will soon die away.  

    3 Trust in the Lord and do good;     dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Take delight in the Lord,     and he will give you the desires of your heart.  

    5 Commit your way to the Lord;     trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,     your vindication like the noonday sun.  

    7 Be still before the Lord     and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways,     when they carry out their wicked schemes.  

    8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;     do not fret—it leads only to evil. 9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,     but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.  

    10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;     though you look for them, they will not be found. 11 But the meek will inherit the land     and enjoy peace and prosperity.  

    12 The wicked plot against the righteous     and gnash their teeth at them; 13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,     for he knows their day is coming.  

    14 The wicked draw the sword     and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy,     to slay those whose ways are upright. 15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,     and their bows will be broken.  

    16 Better the little that the righteous have     than the wealth of many wicked; 17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,     but the Lord upholds the righteous.  

    18 The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,     and their inheritance will endure forever. 19 In times of disaster they will not wither;     in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.  

    20 But the wicked will perish:     Though the Lord’s enemies are like the flowers of the field,     they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.  

    21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,     but the righteous give generously; 22 those the Lord blesses will inherit the land,     but those he curses will be destroyed.  

    23 The Lord makes firm the steps     of the one who delights in him; 24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,     for the Lord upholds him with his hand.  

    25 I was young and now I am old,     yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken     or their children begging bread. 26 They are always generous and lend freely;     their children will be a blessing.  

    27 Turn from evil and do good;     then you will dwell in the land forever. 28 For the Lord loves the just     and will not forsake his faithful ones.

    Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed;     the offspring of the wicked will perish. 29 The righteous will inherit the land     and dwell in it forever.  

    30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,     and their tongues speak what is just. 31 The law of their God is in their hearts;     their feet do not slip.  

    32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,     intent on putting them to death; 33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked     or let them be condemned when brought to trial.  

    34 Hope in the Lord     and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land;     when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.  

    35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man     flourishing like a luxuriant native tree, 36 but he soon passed away and was no more;     though I looked for him, he could not be found.  

    37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;     a future awaits those who seek peace. 38 But all sinners will be destroyed;     there will be no future for the wicked.  

    39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;     he is their stronghold in time of trouble. 40 The Lord helps them and delivers them;     he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,     because they take refuge in him.

     

  • ...including 'this'

    Whate’er my God ordains is right: His holy will abideth; I will be still whate’er He doth; And follow where He guideth; He is my God; though dark my road, He holds me that I shall not fall: Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right: He never will deceive me; He leads me by the proper path: I know He will not leave me. I take, content, what He hath sent; His hand can turn my griefs away, And patiently I wait His day.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right: His loving thought attends me; No poison can be in the cup That my Physician sends me. My God is true; each morn anew I’ll trust His grace unending, My life to Him commending.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right: He is my Friend and Father; He suffers naught to do me harm, Though many storms may gather, Now I may know both joy and woe, Some day I shall see clearly That He hath loved me dearly.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right: Though now this cup, in drinking, May bitter seem to my faint heart, I take it, all unshrinking. My God is true; each morn anew Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart, And pain and sorrow shall depart.

    Whate’er my God ordains is right: Here shall my stand be taken; Though sorrow, need, or death be mine, Yet I am not forsaken. My Father’s care is round me there; He holds me that I shall not fall: And so to Him I leave it all.

  • Inner Peace

    A couple weeks ago I watched "Kung Fu Panda 2".   Fun movie, worth watching in my opinion.

    In that movie, Po could not defeat certain opponents because he was too troubled by his past....  he was told that his problem was that he needed to find "inner peace".   Eventually, after involuntarily arriving at a monastery, meditating for a long time, and finally understanding his origins and the fact that his parents really did love him, he acquired "inner peace".  This allowed him to focus and hone his kung-fu skills and eventually defeat his opponents.

    My question is:  To what extent does this apply to our lives?   Do we need "inner peace?"   If so, how do we get it?

    I think inner peace is indeed important.   I see so many of my friends trying to find inner peace in various ways... through romantic relationship... through trying to acquire lots of money... through trying to become powerful or prestigious...  through workaholism...  through philosophy and yoga and eastern meditation... through classical music or jazz music or art... through social events...  and it seems for many that the "peace" they find is only temporary.

    This shows the difference the difference between "circumstantial peace" and real, true, inner peace.   "Circumstantial peace" means that you are peaceful when external circumstances are going well... but when trouble and stress comes, peace flits away.

    In "Death of a Guru", Rabindranath Maharaj shared how he sought inner peace through yoga and meditation.  He would go deep into a trance, and finally feel relaxed and peaceful.  But after finishing his session, he would immediately lose the peace and be filled again with stress and worry and anger.

    Fortunately however, Rabindranath Maharaj eventually found Jesus Christ, and began to experience true, permanent, inner peace.  As Jesus said to his disciples in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you."

    Not circumstantial peace that only lasts while the music plays or while the compliments are flowing or while the bank account is high.  Permanent, rock-solid, eternal, true, inner peace...  it comes only from Jesus Christ.

    Why?  Why can no other religion or hobby on earth provide lasting peace?  It is because only the true God described in the Bible deals with the sin problem that we all have.  Hobbies are mere temporary/escapism, and all the other world religions and philosophies are essentially "self-help" systems.   They all say that if only you can be a good enough person, you will acquire peace (and achieve heaven, or nirvana, or godhood, or similar state).  The other religions all essentially say, "If only you can relax and realize that you are basically good at heart, you will have inner peace; if only you can think positive thoughts and 'wage peace with your breath', all will be well."

    Only the Bible tells us the truth: that we are desperately evil at heart, (and are only prevented from expressing it out by societal constraints and parental-type training).  Only the God of the Bible tells us honestly how serious our sin problem is: we cannot fix it ourselves or compensate for it by doing good works... 'the soul that sins will die' - either I must die, or else someone must volunteer to die in my place.  Jesus Christ died in my place... the legal guilt of my sin was completely transferred to Him... now I am legally free... innocent... pure... righteous!  And my outer life will some day (when I temporarily physically die) match up with my new perfectly-good inner spirit.

    Only when I see the depth of my sin and when I see how Jesus Christ has taken it all away, can I (and other people) be truly at peace.  Any other approach is merely a bandaid, temporarily covering over a cancerous wound which continues to fester, because the basic problem is not removed.

    Hooray!  Inner peace is possible!  And from personal experience, it is wonderful!   I wish that all my friends would eventually believe in Jesus Christ and come to experience the true peace and eternal life too!

    The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace. Psalm 29:11
     

  • "true love", sex, purity, and Jesus Christ

    Regarding this CNN article, "Why young Christians aren't waiting anymore", which linked to a Relevant article reporting that 8 out of 10 unmarried "evangelical Christians" between 18-29 have had sex (only slightly less than the national average of 9 out of 10 for the same age bracket), I have a couple thoughts.

    First, as I mentioned in my previous post, many people who call themselves "Christians" are not true believers in Jesus.   They are merely 'culturally' Christian, with no real understanding of what it means to follow Jesus.  Many of them have not even read the Bible, and are perhaps only vaguely aware that the Bible explicitly forbids sex outside of marriage (in more than 40 places, e.g. 1 Thessalonians 4, Hebrews 13, and many others).

    Second, here's an interesting excerpt from the article:

    The article highlights what challenges abstinence movements face. Movements such as “True Love Waits,” encourage teens to wear purity rings, sign virginity pledges and pledge chastity during public ceremonies. Yet many of these Christian youths eventually abandon their purity pledges....

    This is sad and unsurprising, that such outward, public, visibility-focused, man-centric, pledges and covenants and rings and tokens are ultimately failing to help keep (at least 8 out of 10) young men and women pure until marriage.

    What is really needed is a true heart-understanding and knowledge of Jesus Christ... knowledge of God's awesome, magnificent, heartwrenching, self-sacrificing, pure, unconditional, LOVE for us.   As Tim Keller says, all sin in the life of a Christian comes from a temporary disbelief in the Gospel.   The Gospel is the good news of how God loved us so much that He Himself paid the penalty of sin that would have cost us eternal death/torment/destruction...  and how He calls those of us who are enabled to understand and believe this to repent of our sins, "turn around", and walk in "newness of life", following Him in new paths of purity and love.

    If we really understand God's love for us... if we really consider how much suffering Jesus Christ endured for us because of His love for us... if we really understood how much glory is waiting for us on the other side of death...  then temptation would lose its power.

    When temptation strikes, e.g. late at night between a young man and a young woman alone with their feelings and their hormones, a "virginity pledge" or "purity ring" is not going to have any real power.  What is needed instead is a generation who truly knows God, who is truly astounded and deeply satisfied by His love for us... so that we can respond to the temptation as Joseph did - "How could I do this great evil and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9)

     

  • two articles

    Here are two great articles from the #Pyromaniacs blog:

    1. http://teampyro.blogspot.com/2011/08/patience-of-job.html

    This article discusses the attitude of Job (a man in the Bible) after several huge calamities happened to him in a single day - all of his children died, and he lost all of his property and fortune.   Job's response was to continue trusting in God, relying on the facts he knew to be true about God despite his feelings pulling him toward despair.   Job trusted that God was SOVEREIGN, JUST, and GOOD, in spite of his painful circumstances.   And as the article points out, we know the end of the story, and now Job's example is a great example for us...

     

    2. A good three-part article about ' #nomadism ', the trend for some Christian preachers to "go it alone" and avoid being accountable to any particular local church.

    http://teampyro.blogspot.com/2011/08/sound-familiar.html
    http://teampyro.blogspot.com/2011/08/dangers-symptoms-of-nomadism.html
    http://teampyro.blogspot.com/2011/08/dont-catch-it.html

     

     

  • Here's a rough outline/draft of some parting thoughts / things-which-seem-in-my-opinion-extremely-important-to-remember, intended to be shared (in either written or possibly oral form) to my local campus Christian fellowship, when I leave (perhaps some time next year)...  these will be refined and expanded and possibly distilled before final presentation...   

    What are your thoughts?   (on these points, and also, are there any other points you might suggest?)

     

    1. dependence on God.... (personal and corporate)  (attitude of humility/He must increase/I must decrease, constant personal prayer, regular corporate prayer, )  cf. Moses "fell on his face before the Lord", "...was the most humble man who ever lived", John 15 "apart from Me you can do nothing."
    2. look for the "poor/needy" - the unbeautiful people, the unpopular people, the lonely, the people who can't help you in return, the boring people, the physically handicapped people, the international students who can't speak good english, the nasty people who don't have any friends, the poor people, the people who don't have any connections, etc  -- seek to help them  ("when you give a banquet... do not invite your friends...")
    3. 'it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace' - the crucial central importance of justification by faith...  the insidious tendency to forget/neglect/sideline this truth to make room for lots of social-gospel/good-works/helping-others/missions-trips/loving-your-neighbor type talk (which, themselves, are also extremely important, but always secondary (cf. Romans 12 comes after Romans 1-8))
    4. root your identity/sufficiency/confidence in Christ and His unfailing love (not in academic performance, research performance, moral/witness performance, or anything else) (shamelessly borrowed from Pauline and Helen)  2 Cor 3
    5. life is short... Ps 90 (timeline illustration shamelessly borrowed from Jay)  ... focus on the things that will last for eternity... God, and human people...   easy to accidentally depersonalize fellow hospital personnel, patients, even classmates (because of the multitude of faces in the hallways/sidewalks, preoccupation w/ personal concerns, constant turnover of people)  but people have only a few years on earth, and then they die and will spend eternity in either heaven or hell - take every opportunity...   (yet sowing is just as important as reaping... an attitude of love (and discernment) asks 'how much is this other person ready for right now?' and then boldly progresses to that point....
    6. don't be afraid of non-Christians thinking you're stupid for believing in God, and even talking about Him in public (as opposed to 'that's fine if you believe it, but keep it private' attitude)   "whoever is ashamed of Me and My words..."   Whose opinion/approval matters more?   Whose opinion will we be concerned more about, 1 million years from today?
    7. rely fully/100% on God's promises (shamelessly borrowed from Bill) ... God ALWAYS keeps His promises...  e.g. Rom. 8:28, Phil. 4:6, Ps 37:4, etc etc.
    8. work as if God were your boss...  (colossians/ephesians passages)
  • Two tidbits

    Memorial Day greetings!  May we remember what is truly important.

    Here are two topics which some may find interesting.

    - World Magazine's multipart issue on the state of 'courtship', dating, marriage, etc among contemporary young American men and women, both Christian and NonChristian - http://www.worldmag.com/articles/18064  and  http://www.worldmag.com/articles/18065   and  http://www.worldmag.com/articles/18060

    - Nicholas Carr on "Is Google Making Us Stupid?"  and  "Switch off and think"  (I am now going to switch off my computer.  Goodbye!)

  • some thoughts on value

    This weekend I happened to be at an amusement park, where crowds of thousands of people milled by... pushing strollers, eating ice-cream cones, screaming on roller coasters, engaging in pda, teasing their siblings.  Kids were amazed at all the bright colors / flashing lights / blaring sounds; parents were tired by it all.  Tourists diligently snapped pictures and bought souvenirs.  Some parents were involved with their kids, others seemed preoccupied with other worries.

    One could easily get numbed by the sameness of all the people passing by... the same clothes... the same body shapes... the same facial expressions... the same activities... the same screams every time the coaster cars passed the same place on the track...

    But two things stood out to me.  First, according to Jesus (speaking to His disciples), "...the very hairs of your head are all numbered."   Every hair, on every single person!   Not one of those thousands of 'generic people' were generic to God.   He dreamed up each man and each woman, and knew their every thought and action, before they were born.  Each one was completely unique upon closer inspection... unique histories, desires, likes, dislikes, and loves.

    Second, after contemplating the value of each person (far higher than my tired/numbed gaze originally gave credit) and the vast number of such people (in such a tiny part of the whole big world), I began thinking about the value of their Creator.   How could one man, Jesus Christ, be intrinsically worth so much more than all of us combined?   He would have looked like an ordinary man, to his peers 2000 years ago.  But if the Bible is correct, He was no ordinary man.   He was instead the Creator and Designer of all the billions of every-hair-numbered/every-thought-foreknown humans running around on earth.

    How does one measure value?  And by any standard, does not Jesus Christ break the scale?

    Finances - gold? silver? platinum? paper money?  All such atoms in the universe were created by Christ.  God owns it all, and loans out small quantities to us, whether we are grateful to Him for it or not.

    Livestock?  God designed and created all the animals and watches over each one.

      " 10"For every beast of the forest is Mine,
    The cattle on a thousand hills.
    11"I know every bird of the mountains,
    And everything that moves in the field is Mine.
    12"If I were hungry I would not tell you,
    For the world is Mine, and all it contains."   Psalm 50

    Real estate? Land?  God made it all.  He spoke it into existence in a couple days' work.

    Knowledge?  In Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

    Power?  There is no comparison between any human and Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, who splits oceans to provide a path for his people to walk through, stills the storm and waves with a couple words, turns the hearts of kings like water in the hand, and rises from the dead after he is killed.

    Wittiness?  Hilarity?  Coolness?  Popularity?  Humor?  Attractiveness?  Life-of-the-party-ness?  God invented all such people.

    Physical pleasure?  Lemonade?  Chocolate?  Sex?  Frisbee?  Root beer floats?  Dopamine?  All designed by God.

    Beauty?   Think of the 50 most handsome or beautiful people you know.  God designed them all.  The most stunning waterfall or sunset?  Again, God designed it.  And those who have seen Him report extreme beauty, which lasts forever rather than fading after a few years, and which truly satisfies, unlike any earthly beauty.

     

    I am currently unable to fully clarify my thoughts on this, but this has been an index to them.   Four closing considerations:

     

    Daniel 7
    9"I kept looking
    Until thrones were set up,
    And the Ancient of Days took His seat;
    His vesture was like white snow
    And the hair of His head like pure wool
    His throne was ablaze with flames,
    Its wheels were a burning fire.
    10"A river of fire was flowing
    And coming out from before Him;
    Thousands upon thousands were attending Him,
    And myriads upon myriads were standing before Him;
    The court sat,
    And the books were opened.
    ...
    13"I kept looking in the night visions,
    And behold, with the clouds of heaven
    One like a Son of Man was coming,
    And He came up to the Ancient of Days
    And was presented before Him.
    14"And to Him was given dominion,
    Glory and a kingdom,
    That all the peoples, nations and men of every language
    Might serve Him
    His dominion is an everlasting dominion
    Which will not pass away;
    And His kingdom is one
    Which will not be destroyed.

    Revelation 21
    1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea.
    2And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
    3And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
    4and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
    5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
    6Then He said to me, "It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
    7"He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.
    8"But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

    Matthew 13:44
    "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

    Lamentations 3:24
    "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."

  • prayer for a friend

    Dear God, the God who was always healing everywhere You went when You visited Earth two thousand years ago,

    Please heal her.

    Please help her with her various problems: workplace stresses, health problems, relationship problems.

    But far more importantly, please heal her soul.  Please use her various problems to bring her closer to You.  Please overwhelm her with Your beauty and goodness.  Please heal the missing father's affirmation and love, filling the void with Your love and warm approval.  Please show her that no human romance will make her truly/permanently happy.  Please dissolve all her worries and replace them with settled trust in You.  Please fill her with contentment in You.

    Please heal him.

    Please help him with his various problems: workplace stresses, health problems, relationship problems.

    But far more importantly, please heal his soul.  Please show him sooner rather than later that the things he is seeking will not satisfy him.  Money, prestige, successful career, the respect of his peers, successful family, a woman that respects him; all of the above: ultimately empty.  Please show Him Your power and Your glory.  Please show him how much Your approval is worth.  Please dissolve all his worries and replace them with settled trust in You.  Please fill him with contentment in You.

    (the above prayers apply to many of my friends... somewhat de-specified for anonymity... but hopefully still worth pondering and perhaps reiterating...  please feel free to pray the same way for me, those of you who know our great God)

(I use 'tags' and 'categories' almost interchangeably... see below)

Recent Comments