March 2, 2010

• the mausoleum

  A story about...    (my answer is in the comment section below)

  The keys clanked in the lock.  The door to the mausoleum embalming room creaked open and the motivational speaker sprang jauntily inside.  The undertaker flipped on the light switch and leaned back against the door frame.  His half closed eyelids bespoke his cynical amusement.

  The motivational speaker strode into the center of the stuffy room, tapped on a few of the open coffins and clapped his hands.  "All right folks, listen up!" he said.  "The time has come for you to get a little more exercise.  No more lying around.  There's so much beauty and fun to be experienced outside!"

  On and on he talked.  He walked energetically back and forth.  He wiped the sweat off his forehead.  Occasionally he would walk up to one of the pale corpses, look right into its closed eyes, and talk loudly and slowly.  "Hello there Sir," he shouted.  "Did you hear what I just said?  If you get up and go outside, we could go for a walk in the park, or play soccer, or watch a movie, or go to a great barbeque place I know downtown.  You really ought to get up!  Don't you know what a bad example you're setting to the rest of humanity, just lazing around all day?"

  Hours later, the motivational speaker staggered out.  He hoarsely thanked the undertaker and stumbled out of the building.  The undertaker knew he'd be back next Sunday morning for his weekly ritual.  He took a final look inside the room.  The bodies remained motionless.

   

   

   

   

  • 10:42 pm
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